Midlife Uncensored
Midlife Uncensored-Real Life Discussions from Over the Hillis the no-holds-barred podcast you didn’t know you needed. Hosted by Joel Poppert, aka Poppy—the friendly Sasquatch with an epic beard—and his fiery co-host, Emanuela Messineo, aka E, this show unapologetically dives into the chaos, comedy, and WTF moments of midlife. If you’re 35-55 and ready to embrace the rollercoaster of aging, this podcast is your new home base.
Poppy and E tackle everything from modern dating disasters in the hilarious sub-series The Love Laugh Lounge (the “festivus” of dating) to real-life shit like divorce, mental breakdowns, balding, sagging tits, and figuring out how to parent while still figuring yourself out and maybe dealing with an unhinged ex. With a blend of interview episodes and no-expert-needed banter (except when we bring on experts), these two cut through the BS and get real about midlife—no filters, no sugarcoating, just pure, unfiltered truth with a heavy dose of humor. Expect raw, relatable stories, unfiltered guidance, tough love, easy happiness, and a few episodes where the comedy comes from alcohol infused banter, because who give a fuck, right?
Whether you’re dealing with the joys of aging, trying to keep your sanity while raising kids, or attempting to find love in a sea of idiots, Midlife Uncensored has your back. Expect a few F-bombs, some belly laughs, and a whole lot of honesty as Poppy and E rip the band-aid off midlife and give you permission to thrive in this beautifully messy chapter. It's not just about surviving midlife—it's about unfucking it and owning it! This is your community; we are in it together!
Midlife Uncensored
Dog Tongues and First Date Sushi : Another Midlife Dating Download on The Love Laugh Lounge
Welcome back to the Love Laugh Lounge, where dating disasters and midlife musings collide! In this episode, Joel and E dive into the chaos of dating apps, their strategies (and frustrations), and the evolving world of meeting people IRL. From dissecting cringe-worthy dating profiles to recounting hilariously bad first dates, they serve up their trademark blend of humor and honesty.
Topics include:
- Why being "friends first" is a red flag for men
- The unspoken rules of profile pictures
- How social media and dating coaches might be ruining the dating pool
- The pros and cons of speed dating events (and the surprising connections made)
As always, Joel and E offer raw and hilarious takes on modern romance, midlife expectations, and why finding the right sushi spot might just be the key to love.
Key takeaway: Whether you’re swiping on apps, mingling at events, or just avoiding the dog-tongue-up-the-nose profile pics, there’s always room to reframe, refocus, and rediscover what you’re looking for.
How to Engage with Us
- DM us on Instagram midlifeuncensored
- Follow Joel on IG jpoppert
- Follow Emanuela on IG emanuela5683 or accountability_with_e
Thanks for joining the Owning Alone community, I certainly appreciate you!
All right, all right, all right. Welcome to another episode of Midlife Uncensored Special edition, the Love Laugh Lounge. Welcome to the lounge, the festivus of dating, the place where we get to air our dating grievances, our relationship grievances, talk about dating in general, give our biased advice with no data to back up any of our opinions whatsoever. This year I really want to find the last single fun, honest and straight man left in denver. If you're bisexual or queer in any way, please skip my profile. No judgment, I'm just trying to cut my competition in half, says lisa, 42 cat owner and dog owner, cherry Creek, colorado. Oh, lisa, you have such a nice smile. Oh, and she's figuring out her relationship type.
Speaker 1:I want someone who is intelligent, funny and has a whole lot of charm. I want to find a free spirit like myself who still remembers how to have fun. But you should not go out with me if you love camping, because I hate camping. Camping is basically pretending you're homeless and I don't want to use my part-time off my PTO for that. I prefer my vacations with room service. Well, lisa, you sound completely fucking awful. And welcome to another episode of the love laugh lounge folks wait, I feel like you also we need to go back.
Speaker 1:There's so I will give lisa.
Speaker 2:She's a 10, but yeah, she's a 10, but she sounds awful, oh she does kind of look awful too.
Speaker 1:She looks like um, she looks like barbie, but her name's karen.
Speaker 2:Oh, boy, you're gonna upset the karens definitely she's definitely the chick that yells at hispanics rude so rude there with the camping okay so and she owns a cat. So clearly you're having some bad luck swiping lately because I feel like I you're having some bad luck swiping lately because I feel like I'm not having a bad luck swiping, I'm just uh.
Speaker 1:Well, I just got back on the apps. I just thought we would do um what I would like to really know it's the lounge.
Speaker 2:We're in the lounge joel, what I would really like to know do you know the best spot in town for sushi?
Speaker 1:If I had a dollar for every time some girl opened up with that prompt. Let me know my thoughts on that. What did I text you today? Oh my God, I do know the best spot in town for fucking sushi.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God, yes.
Speaker 1:Like I'm going to take a fucking stranger to sushi.
Speaker 2:It's probably the sushi den. What did I write you today? I actually think you should take them to sushi katsu on havana.
Speaker 1:It's an all you can eat, it's like 35 for dinner, and you should be like, yes, so do I, I'm taking you here no, I'm gonna go buy cane soup or sushi, put it in a picnic basket and say you want to walk around the park with me and my dog, and then I'm going to drop a blanket and be, like this is the best sushi in town. Artificial, crab and everything.
Speaker 2:I love that though.
Speaker 1:Or what did I write you? I go, I know the best place for sushi too. It's on Pearl, south Pearl. It's called Sushi Den and it's reserved for not strangers and me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, fucking sushi, particularly after I just had my shortest date of the year, last sunday. Oh, tell me more about this um, yeah, so we were walking.
Speaker 1:We were supposed to walk around the park.
Speaker 2:Wait, this was the girl, you showed me a picture of her right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she was the school counselor in Cherry Creek. Any girl from Cherry Creek I should just know better than anything.
Speaker 2:Okay, Cherry Creek. Where does Cherry Creek measure up with Boulder girls?
Speaker 1:Oh, I would rather date a Boulder girl than a.
Speaker 2:Cherry Creek. I think something.
Speaker 1:Boulder girls. It's the combination of Boulder, it's the same thing. Like the boulder people are the trust fund, liberal elite ish people I feel like, and then boulders is far away, so like I don't want to come to you and you probably want to come to me. So that's the other problem with boulder. There are good people in boulder that I would probably date, but boulder is really hard to get to.
Speaker 2:My office is in boulder and I go there once every two months, so I mean, I feel like you keep telling me to remain open minded and not overly judge certain comments on people's profiles, so I'm going to tell you to do the same. So why was the date bad?
Speaker 1:She was super negative. She spent most of the date. I mean, we literally walk like a quarter mile. That's about how long this lasted. She it started with like I'm trying to tell her what I do for a living. She tried to turn it. It's hard to explain she. She said she started criticizing me for not liking what I do, which is not what I said. I was trying to explain my entrepreneurial career, which takes more than a quarter mile, because my my career has been very exciting and rollercoastery and it comes with ups and downs, which is why I'm writing a book. I don't think she was super impressed with me having me writing a book and all the other stuff I have going on.
Speaker 2:Do you think that he? Do you think it was like just maybe not understanding it, like not not meaning that in like a negative way, but if I mean she's in a completely different type of industry, do you think she just like didn't know what you were really saying?
Speaker 1:I think this girl has had a some bad experiences dating over the years. She was a little older than me. I'm not judging, but I know that, like I rarely go on bad dates, I rarely go on dates where it's like I gotta cut this off and leave because this is fucking awful what was the icing on the cake?
Speaker 2:what made you like? What sealed the deal?
Speaker 1:it's when she started to get into how awful denver was. And then it got into liberals ruining the city. And I'm not arguing that liberals haven't done some damage to the city and I'm not arguing that liberals haven't done some damage to the city, but I'm not arguing that they've done all the damage. It's I, I, I just I think that cities and dynamics around cities, particularly now, are way more complex than liberals decided ruin the city. And then she wants to move to nashville and blah, blah, blah and I'm like, well, why are you dating if you're gonna leave? And then, and then it just was all this negativity. And then she's like I don't go downtown anymore because it's just awful down there. And I'm like I was just down, we were just downtown last night. I was like I was just downtown last night. It was actually really fun, it seemed fine. I go downtown quite often.
Speaker 2:I think it sounded like then. Then it got into Trump. Oh.
Speaker 1:And I'm not a big person about politics. I think she was clearly a politic identifier and that's a big turnoff for me. It's like you're super liberal and you identify yourself by liberal politics and you're a Trump person and you identify all your things by Because the minute I asked, the minute that the Trump thing came out, and she's like who did you vote for? That was it.
Speaker 2:And then we didn't tell you anything anymore. This happened all in like 15 minutes. I feel like that's very intrusive.
Speaker 1:Well, she needed to know that was a requirement for her.
Speaker 2:She wants a masculine, so this comes up a lot.
Speaker 1:I want to mask. Conservative women want a masculine man and they believe that trump's trump people are masculine men, and there are masculine liberals and masculine trump people, and then there's all of us 60 of the population that people forget, that are moderate in the fucking middle, that don't identify by politics anymore.
Speaker 2:How did let's talk, let's go. How did you end it then?
Speaker 1:we were walking back to our cars. I think we were racing to our cars at this point they're literally like after the trump thing and I told her I like I voted, I voted differently, and that's all I said to her. And then she didn't say anything and I was like it was just so uncomfortable. And then I I said yeah, because we were supposed to drive to the bar or the restaurant and go get pizza and beer. And I go yeah, um, I'm not feeling it. She goes me neither. And then it was just, we just ran to our respective cars and left and it was frustrating because it's like that's the problem with online dating.
Speaker 1:Online dating is like you end up, and it's a stranger, and I'm one of those people too. That it makes me think about the strategy of communicating on the app more, because I'm more of like hey, blah, blah, blah, let's go get coffee or a drink and see if we vibe. Basically is what I say, and then I do that. I honor that because I think that's the easiest way to get to know somebody, because otherwise the reality is and maybe that's wrong of me Maybe I should find out some more, because I think if I would have chatted with this girl for like even three or four more texts, I would have found out we were like she was super negative and like needed a Trump, a Trump person.
Speaker 2:I mean there is a. There is a happy balance there. I was just having this conversation with a friend last night about how do you kind of vet, vet people enough to cause for me, time is. Time is the most like precious commodity that we have and I'm a that is like my. The quality time is like, definitely my. Like love language. Like I want time with my people and so to give up time with my people that I know I love, that are in my life and other things that are adding value, in order to give that up and go on a date with someone like I don't want to be a pen pal forever, but I also am not going to like the person that asks me to go out, like after two texts. I'm like I can we just banter a little bit like a couple days and then establish a date?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's fine and it doesn't even need to be like all day, every day.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. Like it's, it can just be a couple exchanges, like figure out if you have something in common. Before I want to give you some actual in-person time.
Speaker 1:My problem, though, is that, like four text, four exchanges on the apps can take three weeks.
Speaker 2:Then that might mean they're not that interested.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Or you're not that interested, right? So why would you want to give that person time in person then? Why do you want to spend?
Speaker 1:money and time. Well, I'm just saying that's how I think it's different for women and men. Men and men get like. This is the other thing that women don't realize Like we talked about this the other day is like I think there's very few men that are getting nearly like. The top 1% of men in the dating apps are probably getting 10% of what the top 20% or 50% of women are getting on the apps. It's just the dynamic between men just fucking shoot their shot to everybody. They use their eight fucking likes a day or, if they're paying for the app, they use them all on a weekend and that's how they deal with it, because statistically it's just and then there's just men on the apps that aren't getting any like.
Speaker 1:I'm fortunate I get a reasonable amount of likes and people match with me. So I try to watch it a little bit because I can only handle a certain amount of people but like. But then I get interested in somebody and I'm trying to exchange with them. So my strategy and then I found that women most women are actually very responsive to like. Yeah, man, just like, let's go Like. I think they like the initiative and it works and like.
Speaker 1:Sometimes it ends up like that. A lot of times it's just a hundred. I might as well just burn a hundred dollar bill in the middle of the street, but like it doesn't mean. And then a lot of the time actually and I don't want to be negative about it A lot of time I just meet good people Like I have a nice time. Even the Cherry Creek girls I've dated most of them are nice women they're just not my type Because they don't like camping and they don't like going outdoors and they're not laid back and they want things I don't want to give them and I know that about myself we talked about after our last episode of Justine. I actually took the time to start writing my non-negotiables down which.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to go through on this episode.
Speaker 2:Okay, we have to wait. We do need to remind people, though. She agreed to come back when we get what 10 people, not five. She asked everybody to come up with five non-negotiables and when we get 10 people, she'll come back on and we'll we'll go through a session about non-negotiables. So go back and listen to that episode with her, and she gives you some tips about how to figure out what they are If you don't know what they are already.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I think the apps are. I mean I'm back on hinge, I'm not relying on it. We I mean I'm back on hinge, I'm not relying on it. We've been doing the speed dating thing. I've been enjoying meeting people in of heart man.
Speaker 2:It's not. And I don't necessarily believe that it's going to go anywhere ever.
Speaker 1:I know I am really reassessing.
Speaker 2:I'm really reassessing. I don't think it's like the best use of my. I don't think at least the online dating is the best use of my time, although I will say I have met some really incredible people on the apps. I mean, I wouldn't have met you without that. And I have another. There's another person that I met. He was actually like the first person I connected with after my last long-term relationship and we are still friends.
Speaker 1:I met Justine on the app.
Speaker 2:He built that chair for me and the other chairs, my dining room chairs, and he's an amazing person. But like there's really, you can obviously meet some amazing people.
Speaker 1:I mean, I'm on there, so I think a lot of there are a lot of amazing people on there there are.
Speaker 2:I just think I don't, I don't know, I think it's almost ruining the experience a little bit in a way. I don't know. I think there's people on there, like, for example, the person whose profile that you just read and you've given me other examples of this recently too I think people are burnt out and they're not giving themselves the time to just take a deep breath and they're still like rinse, repeat, go at it again. I mean you sent me one the other day and and go ahead.
Speaker 1:No go for it.
Speaker 2:I was just going to say, like, if you need a minute, take a minute. Don't keep going out with people, people if you aren't, if you're drained from it, like you're ruining the experience I agree with you.
Speaker 1:I have a theory. I have a very unprocessed theory that I just thought of okay because I've been.
Speaker 1:I've been on the apps. I was on the apps when they first came out for years and met my wife, my ex-wife, now on the apps. But a lot of people met and got married and a lot of those people are still married on the apps. So there was a time when the apps worked to a certain degree. They had their flaws too and there was a lot of fucking around and all that stuff. They were fun and there was a lot of some of the some of the similar drama, but not not this complete inability to form a relationship with anybody plague right and I.
Speaker 1:So where I'm going with this is I think that I think the big difference that's changed and I used to think it was our age and blah blah, but what I, what I've listened to and learned and reading comments and other dating stuff is like that it's common across most age groups now is I think it's the dialogue that influencers are either consciously or subconsciously creating on social media and they get there's this basically like there's women dating coaches and women and women in the comments doing the dialogue and they're just like they're nitpicking men for like not writing the most authentic fucking response to your 200 character fucking prompts on hinge when you wrote like three things, like I like sushi and I like my dog, like what?
Speaker 1:and a picture of you in your swimsuit, and they're, and they're getting mad because you're like, you are stunning or you are beautiful or like that picture and like they're, like they just like me for my fucking body.
Speaker 1:It's like they don't have anything to say and they and men naturally gravitate to like and they're basically just shooting their shot because they're men.
Speaker 1:They expect men to show up like this.
Speaker 1:Is they expect men to show up like so authentically and and chivalrously on a media platform when the reality is is you just need to like, connect with them, ask your questions to get to the date and then, if they don't show up authentically and chivalrously on the date, then then you can make that judgment. But what we're doing is we're nitpicking everybody for little things that they say in their profile or little things they say in their text, and it's just. It's just a weird platform, whereas, like the experience at least the experience I've had of meeting people in real life, whether it's through speed dating or just approaching a woman in real life, is like there's so much more like I don't know if it's the energy or the chemicals or whatever it is there's just so much more authentic, there's so much to like, there's so much more vulnerability and all the things that I think go a long way in a connection, in an initial connection, that you don't get from the apps, and we've just we haven't given the latitude to the apps that we should be to getting.
Speaker 2:Let's go back. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I lost what I was gonna say well, it's the lounge, you're just, we're just chatting, so um, I I guess what I was saying is I think you could respond. You could either take it another direction or you can respond to what you think of the dialogue that's going on between men and women. Oh, I mean number one.
Speaker 2:I think if you're getting advice from a woman coach, you're getting a female's perspective and if you're dating a man, you're probably not getting. I mean, look, people can study things and have a lot of good advice, but for me, I mean, this is why I just switched and I have like a male therapist, because I feel like I need a male perspective on things and there is some really valuable insight to that, especially since I'm dating men and I would like to better understand some of that. And on another front, again, I'll I'll do this plug for Justine's masterclass, because it is insightful to understand what you can learn about how men and women think differently and help bridge that gap for me. Okay, oh, this is what I was going to say, I would prefer, okay. So, first of all, I feel terrible when guys do send an authentic message with like a, with the initial like like you haven't matched yet, because sometimes I'm like, oh, that was really thoughtful, but like I'm not interested in them and I'm like I'm not gonna send. Do you send them a message?
Speaker 1:I don't, obviously, but like no, they don't want you to be like at a boy, right, you know. I'll get them to sometimes. It's I'm sure it gets less. It's less frequent than when women get them, but I get them sometimes too and I feel the same way. I'm like that's really nice that you wrote that, but like it would be worse if you responded.
Speaker 2:No, I know To be like I'm not interested. Not interested, that would be worse.
Speaker 1:It's worse, it's better just to get silent rejection doesn't hurt that much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just think it. I do take a second to like appreciate the kudos they're giving you or whatever, but if you're getting like I think what we were talking about was like if you are feeling burnt out, which I feel like I'm kind of reaching a point where I may need to like take a break from the apps, I'm not really burnt out, I'm just not that excited, and so and I feel like I'm more excited about like diving into my career and just spending time with like all the people that I do have in my life that are adding a lot of value. So now I, if we go back though, like if you are burnt out and you feel the need to have these like negative comments in your, in your uh profile, like maybe pause things and go like fill your bucket before you try to date Like you sent me one.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's terrible the other day. I want to read this. It's a big red flag. If you can't, yeah, it's naked.
Speaker 2:Like you don't want negativity in your profile, so, like this one was, I hate even having to say this. I'm very open to dating divorced men with kids, but please don't waste my time if you're not ready. I can't do any more betrayals. Jesus, I can't read, as we all know. I cannot read. I just feel like that's not going to attract the person that fits the qualifications you want. They're going to be turned off by that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I wouldn't touch that with a 10-foot pole.
Speaker 2:That just screams you've been hurt and you haven't dealt with it. That's what that says to me yeah, somebody hurt you.
Speaker 1:It's not, it's, go deal with it, take a break. All single men aren't fucking over girls. I, I will tell you this right now and you might women might not like this, but if you put I want to just be friends first, it's the biggest turn off.
Speaker 2:It means that, like all men have been, put in the friend zone in their lives, and that just means like why don't we start out in the friend zone and then maybe we can become girlfriend, boyfriend?
Speaker 1:How about you just set your boundaries around sex and then if that man doesn't respect it, then that man's not the right person to be dating period. Like the last girl that I dated, she established boundary around sex that at a reasonable time, at a reasonable moment. I liked her a lot and I was like fine and I appreciated that she does, and I and all men know that better sex comes with waiting. Now, if you're like I gotta wait a year or I gotta get married, like see ya, but like if it's, if it's until I'm exclusive or until you stay, feel comfortable. There is nothing wrong with that boundary, but you don't need to put it in your profile. I don't get to see men's profiles, so I don't really know what they're saying, but I'm assuming they're saying all kinds of hilarious stuff yeah, I mean, there's all the the lying about age and the like.
Speaker 2:Sort of sexual innuendos do happen quite often, I think. Uh, the other one that I think is funny but also very disturbing and is a hard no for me, is people that post a photo with their dog's tongue up their nose yeah and there are so many men with a it, it is so disturbed, it is like I. I just feel a wet tongue going on my nose.
Speaker 1:There must be some dating coach out there that told them that that was cute to women disgusting because women do it? I think not because they're told to. They just do it, because women just love their dogs.
Speaker 2:No, women love their dogs more than men I fucking loved my dog and I did not allow him to put his fucking tongue up my nose or in my mouth. Okay, there is a guy that I've been messaging with and he seems just fine, but number one. I for sure know that some of these photos are pretty old and also he looks very different in all of his photos and I feel like I just don't know what I'm going to get. Does that happen to you and how do you feel about that? This?
Speaker 1:doesn't happen to me anymore because I've just gotten you. Just after years and years of doing this, you start to get a little bit more awareness around it. But it has happened to me in my years of online dating and I didn't know what to say. You're just not, you don't look the same and you can judge me all you want, but they didn't look the same at all.
Speaker 2:I just think in general, let's all set each other up for success and have photos be within the year, put pictures up like with that are recent and like within a year, or like at least have at least have some friends that will be honest with you about whether or not they are still applicable photos. Or the other thing you could do is like add a little tag on it and put the like when it was like maybe if there's like a reason, like if it's like a really fun, great picture of you, you can still put it up. But like I just don't like when I you can very clearly see that there's a lot of old photos or like there's a very different look and I'm like I don't know who I'm getting here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's like that to me is I don't want to go out with you, I'm not going to go, I think, unfortunately, like one yes, people need to, people need to.
Speaker 1:It's pretty straight advice Like no pictures with your friends, if one, I mean, if you don't have friends, you don't have friends, but like, and if you do have friends, that's great, you should have friends, but like, we profiles should just be pictures of you. Now it's harder for men, because men don't have a lot of pictures with themselves. So, men, you need to be like if you're single, you need to take, you need to fucking man up and like have your friends take pictures of you and you need to like pose and take, smile and suck your gut in and fucking like, take a nice picture of yourself because. And then, alternatively, like, women have tons of pictures of themselves by themselves and they have like all these fucking what I'll call quote-unquote glamour shots where they look amazing but like, none of them are natural pictures and then you get women that just like, shove themselves in fucking five packs across the board with sunglasses on.
Speaker 1:You're like I'm terrible, because when I see those I use one of my likes and I'm like I think this is you and I say I make a comment. I'm like I don't. What is wrong with you that you think that men, that people know sorry, not men, because this happens to women too like that you, that we're supposed to guess who you are. We don't have that sort of degree of who you are because we haven't met you. So we literally think that you could be that person or that person.
Speaker 1:And and then and then the ones where they're like standing like 50 feet away from the camera and you're like that doesn't help me either, so I'm always. I'm like what is what? Were you thinking it's? Either you weren't serious enough about being on there, yeah, I just don't get it and like, and then unfortunately like if you're the advice, then when you see that you really just have to just let you just have to swipe left, regardless of how curious you are and that's the hard part is you're like I'm curious because either I liked what they said in their profile they sort of match or like the one picture they look. Ok, I can kind of see them.
Speaker 2:And I think that's who they are. But they're going to show up looking like this other one or not, or something completely that doesn't look like any of the photos, Cause I've had that happen too, and you're like what the fuck I mean?
Speaker 1:but you're right, they should have photos within the last two years.
Speaker 2:It's more of let's remove any of the question marks. It's already enough of a hurdle to get there, Like let's just remove the question marks. That remove the question marks. Yeah, there's all kinds of advice If you Google search what to put on your profile.
Speaker 1:There's all kinds of guidelines.
Speaker 2:But I'm just saying like, if you agree to go on a date, show up and look like your photos, yeah.
Speaker 1:If you have kids, it's worth telling them at some point before you go on a date, tell people. Even though I know there's arguments about not saying you have kids. Don't put kids in your profile. By the way, that's a pretty obvious one. Why? Again, it goes back to the principle of the pictures should just be you.
Speaker 2:Does Santa count as somebody else in a photo?
Speaker 1:oh yeah, that's right. I love that photo. That's getting a lot of, that's getting a lot of fucking runway.
Speaker 2:By the way, I bet it is yeah people love it.
Speaker 1:Sitting on santa's lap as a grown adult is, yeah, it's like.
Speaker 2:It's like taking a picture with a I bet everyone's like I'll come sit on your on my buddy used to have a picture of him holding a koala bear and, oh my god what's the amount of times he got laid because of that picture? What's the best opening line you've gotten from that?
Speaker 1:until the fucking uh uh female dating coaches ruined it what do you mean? Oh well, the new thing now is that men aren't. Men can't come out the gates just telling you you look pretty. So mine used to be. Oh, it was fucking. I mean, that's how I connected with Lauren. No, you are stunning, I'm not asking you about your opening line.
Speaker 2:I said you said you're getting a lot of traction with the picture of you sitting on Santa's lap, so what is like the best comment you've gotten for that?
Speaker 1:oh, girls don't comment, they just like, they just like. And then, oh, just because they're, you said so, your traction is because they're liking that photo. They're liking, yeah, so my, my most popular photo, the santa photo, has been good. And then, and the other one is me with the sasquatch, where I'm like standing with this, but do they comment on it after the fact at? All.
Speaker 2:Like no, they're just liking the photo.
Speaker 1:No, okay.
Speaker 2:But they don't make it, they don't like say anything about it In my experience, girls on the apps don't say a whole lot.
Speaker 1:That's why I'm just like let's go out and fucking get a drink. Yeah, this is you're not. This isn't engaging. They're not really engaging. And then men run the risk of like they'll ask one or two questions and then you run the risk of trying to articulate what you're saying and it's like a fucking paragraph and then that probably comes off as too much, like you're paying too much attention to my profile, which is a turnout.
Speaker 1:I'm you know like the whole thing online, yes, like the whole thing is to write as little as possible and meet them in person like that's just, like that's just the way to go. And if it turns out like didn't with me the other day with with negative nancy, then so be it, it's worth the time is.
Speaker 2:I don't mind meeting strangers, though Is the opposite of negative Nancy, positive Priscilla.
Speaker 1:Positive Pete. Positive Patricia, I don't know why I said that Crazy.
Speaker 2:Karen, let's not rip on Karens. We have some Karens in our lives.
Speaker 1:Chick was just uptight. She came into the whole thing, jaded with trauma. And she wanted something that I wasn't uptight that was. She came into the whole thing. She was jaded with trauma and and, um, she wants her. She wanted something that I wasn't. I'm a very you know me, I'm. I need somebody. That's.
Speaker 2:When I click with somebody that's my type, then it it's fine and I I feel like I just keep going back for more and you know there's some good like connections that are to be made, but I feel like I need to. I think I might I don't know tbd I'm not closing the door I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I will not, I cannot. That is not in my dna, but I think I have to like reframe some of it.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna reframe some of it, I am we'll check in in two months on your goal list.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we will, don't worry, I will have some. I'm going to go to yoga, but I'm definitely going to be diving more into my career.
Speaker 1:So there won't be as much time. I got new yoga shorts. Oh boy, the girls aren't going to be able to. They're going to be like wait till they see my Vanessa.
Speaker 2:Vanessa.
Speaker 1:Vanessa.
Speaker 2:Jesus Christ.
Speaker 1:Vanessa, all over that place.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, have you been waiting to drop that? You're very proud of yourself. You are such a dork right now. That's pretty funny, oh my gosh, we didn't talk about the other Singles Event that we went to this weekend. Met some good people.
Speaker 1:All I want to say about that event is like we were like the fucking center of attention. I was very proud of us like there. We were literally like even the host was like what are you guys doing that makes you so cool? We were, we were like the center of attention.
Speaker 2:It was fun yeah, it was, and then we got a crew we give off really good energy and like kind of show up and we do.
Speaker 1:I think it's fun to very few, particularly men, are fortunate enough to have a wing woman to go to speed dance events with. There's like a level of trust that just comes along with your wing woman, that you inherit just by having a wing woman, and then that event was pretty bad from a talent perspective. So I think you and I ended up just like making friends with everybody and then we just had a group.
Speaker 2:Actually, we had the. The two people that we ended up having dinner with were pretty cool. I liked them and both of them agreed to come on the podcast, so yeah, we got to get carried out of there. Yeah, everybody's going to gonna come on, obviously after the new year. At this point we got to figure out our schedule and then we'll get.
Speaker 1:We'll get some people lined up, so I do really want to have that conversation about with her, about one, about her business, but also like just in, and then maybe we do some with some people that go to these things more often, and like oh yeah because that is where everything's going now is that they're going to in real life and like in real life, like mixer type things or fitness based things, and yeah two birds fit is, though is like it's pretty quality looking people, more interesting people, like more people.
Speaker 1:The jigsaw one was way more corporate and I just didn't.
Speaker 2:It wasn't as many I feel like there were more introverted type people there than at the two birds fit event yeah, there are definitely some so it was a little bit um, like we were the only ones hitting golf balls. It was at a golf simulator simulator place.
Speaker 1:So that bar was kind of cool I I like the bar one buck shot.
Speaker 2:I also liked the vending machine they had oh yeah, oh god, that's a good story.
Speaker 1:No, I don't want to cock-block myself.
Speaker 2:Well, you don't need to tell the whole freaking story.
Speaker 1:I may have timed my bathroom break at the same time that two girls had bought a mystery sex pack out of this vending machine. That included lots of sex things but also a butt plug with a two-foot tail on it. Yeah, that was fun. And then the whole night there were just like people dressed up in santa suits and santa hats. That was a fun.
Speaker 2:That was a fun night what was the name of that place? We should do a one buck shot one a meet up there yeah we should just start our own dating meetup that's what I was saying, and you didn't want to talk about goals for the podcast well, we can.
Speaker 1:But I what I find with the meetup stuff one, it's hard, it takes time to build up, just like instagram and everything. It takes time to build up a group of folks that actually go. So you have to be consistent about it. And then, too, you you gotta take. There's no like, you can't discriminate right, so like you get what you get. So the more narrow you can get, I guess, the better yeah so I'm all about it.
Speaker 1:I have that account and I think it would be fun. I think it would be fun to. I mean, this is what we're doing. I get the most. I get the most joy. Honestly, how to talk about the fundamentals?
Speaker 2:of dating. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:Then I do anything else Like I, because I think the other midlife stuff like is fine, we'll let somebody else talk about it and interview them, because we're not experts on all it's it is midlife uncensored, but really what we're doing is we're living. We're really living the alternate, we're living the other side of the midlife experience, which is single, and single and midlife ready to mingle, it's all experiencing itself. Yeah, and getting older and creakier, so yeah, so 2024. In summary zero relationships situationships lots of galore lots of or intersections with people of the opposite sex.
Speaker 1:Lots of dates, lots of meeting new people. I do enjoy dating. That's not something I don't enjoy Just because I love meeting people and I genuinely like women. I do, I really actually like women and a lot of them get better with age in a lot of ways. They just some don't. Some go in the other direction. I'm sure men do too. I'm sure I actually but just more like laid back, more just like the midlife stuff. We're just more know what they want. Which is why we're why lots of dates don't work out is because we know kind of we've got a grip on our non-negotiables um, oh boy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can't wait to hear what yours are my, I don't think they'll surprise you no, not right now we should do a meetup group at casa bonita oh yeah, well, you have to prepay, maybe they'll let me wear my speedo and jump off the diving board oh, yeah, well maybe not.
Speaker 1:How deep do you think that pool is? I don't know they're I've only seen it in south park.
Speaker 2:I've never actually seen real pictures of it you know, um, I'm I'm pretty sure it's a high dive. It it's got to be pretty deep.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's got to be deep. I think it's pretty narrow too. Oh, to all you ladies out there, right?
Speaker 2:now I'm reading she Comes First. Oh boy.
Speaker 1:Just putting that out there for all you think about over Christmas.
Speaker 2:Or New Year's. Nothing I didn't know already errors jesus christ, um, what else? I don't know what else. Uh, so we're gonna figure out what. Oh, another goal let's figure out what. The best spot in town for sushi is not on pearl street other than that one. I feel like I don't really have anything else to say no, I think that's good, I think my like do you have 2025 goals for dating?
Speaker 1:it sounds like you'd not.
Speaker 2:I think I'm not going to take a break. I think I'm just going to reconfigure how I do things and, very much in line with how I like to goal set, I feel like I'm going to have a date night once a week and that may or may not include somebody else.
Speaker 1:Nice I am going to try to give people three dates oh, if they'll give me three dates, because my therapist says I need to be more open to different things, open while also being more rigid around the things. I know I should be rigid yeah all right. Well, here's to 2025 and us finding our people oh my gosh that was great.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to. Yeah, I think that's good Mic drop.
Speaker 1:All right, everybody, remember to follow us on Instagram at midlifeuncensored and I guess, if you want to follow us on Facebook and we want to hear from you, slip into our DMs. Let us know what's going on, share your stories and please subscribe and rate us. It goes a long ways. It means a lot as we grow here. Bye, bye.
