Midlife Uncensored
Midlife Uncensored-Real Life Discussions from Over the Hillis the no-holds-barred podcast you didn’t know you needed. Hosted by Joel Poppert, aka Poppy—the friendly Sasquatch with an epic beard—and his fiery co-host, Emanuela Messineo, aka E, this show unapologetically dives into the chaos, comedy, and WTF moments of midlife. If you’re 35-55 and ready to embrace the rollercoaster of aging, this podcast is your new home base.
Poppy and E tackle everything from modern dating disasters in the hilarious sub-series The Love Laugh Lounge (the “festivus” of dating) to real-life shit like divorce, mental breakdowns, balding, sagging tits, and figuring out how to parent while still figuring yourself out and maybe dealing with an unhinged ex. With a blend of interview episodes and no-expert-needed banter (except when we bring on experts), these two cut through the BS and get real about midlife—no filters, no sugarcoating, just pure, unfiltered truth with a heavy dose of humor. Expect raw, relatable stories, unfiltered guidance, tough love, easy happiness, and a few episodes where the comedy comes from alcohol infused banter, because who give a fuck, right?
Whether you’re dealing with the joys of aging, trying to keep your sanity while raising kids, or attempting to find love in a sea of idiots, Midlife Uncensored has your back. Expect a few F-bombs, some belly laughs, and a whole lot of honesty as Poppy and E rip the band-aid off midlife and give you permission to thrive in this beautifully messy chapter. It's not just about surviving midlife—it's about unfucking it and owning it! This is your community; we are in it together!
Midlife Uncensored
Swipe Again? A Discussion About the Reality of Dating Do-Overs
In this laugh-out-loud episode of Midlife Uncensored, your favorite friendly Sasquatch, Poppy, and the ever-sassy E dive into the chaotic world of second chances in dating. Are they worth it, or should you leave the past in the past? Hear Poppy and E share awkward stories of failed re-dates, Tinder déjà vu, and unexpected run-ins with past flames.
But it’s not all heartstrings and hindsight—prepare for some wild tangents! Poppy perfects his Thanksgiving turkey call, dishes on his sleep struggles, and drops hilarious anecdotes about old-school car features (map lights, anyone?). Meanwhile, E gets real about Friendsgiving prep, Florida humidity, and her own second-chance mishaps.
This episode is packed with relatable midlife insights, unfiltered humor, and a healthy dose of nostalgia. Whether you're here for dating advice, turkey calls, or just a good laugh, this episode has something for everyone.
How to Engage with Us
- DM us on Instagram midlifeuncensored
- Follow Joel on IG jpoppert
- Follow Emanuela on IG emanuela5683 or accountability_with_e
Thanks for joining the Owning Alone community, I certainly appreciate you!
All right, all right, all right. Welcome to another episode of Midlife Uncensored. This is your host, poppy, your favorite friendly Sasquatch with the epic beard game, and to my right is my lovely co-host, emanuela Messinaio, also known as E. Before we get started, remember to subscribe. We're on the Instagram, the gram at Midlife Uncensoredensored. You can also find us by default on facebook, and remember to subscribe and reach out. We want to hear from you guys. Download all our episodes, rate us five stars, four stars, but if you want to rate us three stars, don't rate us at all. Make some comments, tell your friends we're doing good things here and we love you all, so let's jump in.
Speaker 2:Love it. That was great.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Good job.
Speaker 1:Well hi Emanuela.
Speaker 2:Well, hey, puppy.
Speaker 1:How are you doing?
Speaker 2:It's been a while I'm good, I don't actually call you puppy, do I Very much?
Speaker 1:No, no, but there's a whole group of people out there that do, and then there's people that don't know why people call me Poppy and they look at me like why are you calling him daddy?
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I have so many things.
Speaker 1:Poppy Vas Grande. Hi Poppy Big.
Speaker 2:Papa, that's fantastic.
Speaker 1:My last name is Poppert and my nickname has been Poppy since my soccer coach in high school gave me the nickname Poppy and it went away for all of about three days. And then this girl in the dorms was like I'm going to call you Poppy, and I was like that's funny, because that's been my nickname that I tried to run away from for my whole life, and now I'm just called Daddy in Spanish, or people just think I'm a kid.
Speaker 2:You can run, but you can't hide.
Speaker 1:You can't hide.
Speaker 2:Poppy is going to come back and find you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I like Poppy Mascarande.
Speaker 2:Yeah, poppy Mascarande.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I like it, that's my brand and I'm like yeah, stay tuned for 2025.
Speaker 2:Oh boy.
Speaker 1:I'm going to expand it. It's going to be exciting. I'm going to own it even more.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like it, it's going to be good. Tbd, you have to stay tuned. What's been going on? Have I seen you since the Halloween party?
Speaker 1:I guess one month. So we did a last episode of Uche, oh yeah, right after that, yeah Right, no, I haven't seen you in like a week or so, so not much going on. You know I'm I've been just buckling down trying to. You know, in my world, in the capital markets, everything shuts down after Thanksgiving. So I'm just hustling to anything from a sales or getting contracts shuts down sort of at the end of this month and then it doesn't pick back up until January. So I sort of shift to business development right around the end of November and I rally really hard to get my stuff done this month. So I sort of shift to business development right around the end of November and I rally really hard to get my stuff done this month. So I've been just like working a lot.
Speaker 2:That's so exciting. What is this for you?
Speaker 1:Other than that, yeah, just hanging out with the dog yeah, nothing too exciting. I decided I'm going to go hunting next week. I was on the fence about that, so go shoot something, that'll be therapeutic for me.
Speaker 2:What are you hunting for? Humans?
Speaker 1:mostly. Okay, now this is like the third or fourth episode, you're probably saying killing people, people that drive in the left lane, let's not make this a habit?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like to I round them all up around this time of year, keep them in my basement and then I throw them in the back of the truck and then I give them about 10 minutes head start. Oh, my gosh. Let's talk about this.
Speaker 1:Humor styles yeah, let's leave this one. I don't think that was a cock block. So to our listeners. I decided that I'm going to stop cock blocking myself on my own podcast. So I'm going to be very cognizant.
Speaker 2:I decided that I'm going to stop cock blocking myself on my own podcast.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to be very cognizant. That would be good Shooting people that drive in the left lane. I think that will win me some favors with certain women. How about just shooting their tires? Okay, oh my.
Speaker 2:God.
Speaker 1:How about just flicking them off?
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, that's good, that's acceptable.
Speaker 1:I've actually been pretty good about driving lately. I've been just sort of getting on the highway and driving in that sort of second to right lane and just going really slow. Oh, and then every once in a while I'm like why the fuck is everybody going so slow?
Speaker 2:but anyway, we've done this already on the right lane. Yeah, it's because you're in midlife and you're old well, I don't want to crash because you don't have a horn.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, Should we go to practice?
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:It's going to be Thanksgiving about this time, so I just want everybody to hear my gobble, because I've been perfecting it over the years. Are you ready for this? I should probably back up the microphone Ready, uh-huh, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, what just happened. Sorry.
Speaker 1:That Are you all right now. Can you hear me?
Speaker 2:Can you hear me? I think I've, I think I lost all my hearing, jesus.
Speaker 1:I didn't expect it to be that loud. Maybe I should have gone out here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, you. First of all you went way out here and then you went quieter. Not fair. That was pretty good though.
Speaker 1:Dang. No, I can do it really well. I held back on that because I didn't want to hurt your ears. So how are you, Ben? Wait, do you do?
Speaker 2:that? Are you going to turkey hunt then? Is that your like call for turkey?
Speaker 1:I mean, if I see a turkey yeah, it's before Thanksgiving I'll shoot it.
Speaker 2:What happens?
Speaker 1:I don't have a turkey license, so I have to sneak in there. What?
Speaker 2:tag did you get? Yeah, we have cow tags. Is that what it's called? Tags?
Speaker 1:yeah, yeah, last year we got a bull and a cow and I got a deer. I had a deer tag too last year. Brown was down last year, that's what my dad used to say. Brown is down.
Speaker 2:That's pretty cool For all you people that eat meat out there that don't like hunting. You got elk last year, right, elk? Yeah, we got a bull, yeah, because you gave me some.
Speaker 1:And a deer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I still need to make that actually.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got two chest freezer in my basement. I got to fill them up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like it. Okay, that's really cool.
Speaker 1:I go through that stuff, man. I don't buy red meat and I just eat elk and deer, and then I have all that fish for my brother-in-law anyway the boring nerd listeners. What so? What have you been up to? You're in florida for the holiday.
Speaker 2:I mean the election yes, exactly, I was in florida um for about 10 days. I was there mostly for work, I think I was yeah, anyways yeah, it's been wild.
Speaker 2:So I had the Halloween party and then I saw you. We recorded with Uche and then I feel like I left yeah, I had a date in between there no longer seeing that person, uh and then, yeah, just work it's been. So we had. So we had. I do these like innovation workshops for our company at least a couple times a year. So I had one of those last week and had people from our like corporate office that came to observe. I'll say went really well. So that was fun and had a bunch of I don't know, just like fun, like team building stuff, but I do all the event planning for the workshop and everybody we went to, like I said, florida, so our home office is actually in Boston, so most people were traveling in. So I do like I have to like organize all the meals and like logistics for people and stuff like that. So, super fun, had a great time. It was actually a nice time to be. It was pretty warm and humid down there.
Speaker 1:Oh, in Florida yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we were in northern Florida.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And then you were up by the shaft, the top of the shaft.
Speaker 2:You again with this language.
Speaker 1:It's totally our penis. Oh, my God oh what happens when it falls off? There's more viagra in florida than there is in the whole united states.
Speaker 2:I have so many comments so many comments, okay, so also really cool. I I'm an insurance underwriter for those of you who don't know, but I work on railroad insurance and I got to visit one of my customers there and do a site visit, which is my first time doing that for a railroad um, which was super cool and, I don't know, learned some things about that. So it's all I got my life's kind of boring right now. I mean it's been busy, but it's kind of boring.
Speaker 1:We're always doing shit whatever.
Speaker 2:And then getting ready for Friendsgiving this weekend. I've got a friend coming in to visit, so we're going to all go do that, and yeah. I've got a few weeks here of no travel.
Speaker 1:I want to give a shout out to the Avs. Last night I was at the game with my buddy, ralph um, they won in overtime. It was very epic. It was the best abs game I've been to thus far. It was just the way that they just kept coming back and like, like it was just a really exciting game. Like there was this period, there were waves where they played harder than I've ever seen them play and just shot on goal, shot, shot on goal shot on goal and then break Cause.
Speaker 1:I think Nashville has one of the top 10 goalies in the league, so he's just like iron man. But they just kept persisting. And then in overtime, I think they just, nashville, got a little slowed down and we're showboating a little bit and we stole the puck from them in the last minute overtime and just fucking one on the goalie and just got it also ryan o'reilly plays for them, and that's who riley was named after so he's number 90.
Speaker 2:Well, he was an app, he was an abs player and then he was a blues player too, which is why he was named after him, because those are my two favorite teams awesome.
Speaker 1:So, uh, today we're gonna talk about giving former dates, I guess, or former people that we tried to date, a second chance, because I think we both have a lot of experience with this and I think we start with the question and I'll ask it to you and then I'll answer it myself but do you think it is worthwhile to give somebody a second chance?
Speaker 1:And let me to our listeners that maybe are dating or done a lot of dating recently, like I'm not talking about, there was like some traumatic. There doesn't necessarily need to be a traumatic event that happened with this other person why we're giving them a second chance. It's just could have been somebody that, like we went on a couple dates with. They gave us the I'm not interested this time or I'm not ready to date, or maybe they even ghosted us and then they just kind of reappear as an opportunity, or I guess there could be something traumatic. Like you know, what do they call it? What do they call it when you fuck somebody and leave, never call them again, which is terrible, but is there like a term for it?
Speaker 2:Like dine and dash, but like fucking flash.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:Well, if not, that's it now.
Speaker 1:Don't ever have sex on the first date Because it's like not likely to go anywhere after that.
Speaker 2:That's funny. I don't know what the term is. I think there is one, but I'm not thinking of it. Fucking flash. Okay, there you go. I think the answer is it depends. When it comes to the dating side, I guess the reason you didn't go on another date if you were just in the early stages of dating. And then obviously there's also, like people that are exes, like do you ever go back for more?
Speaker 1:Oh, I think like if I'm being really disciplined about my answer and really my gut reaction is yeah, no, you don't, you, you shouldn't. No, I mean. Well, I think the question is. I think the question is should we?
Speaker 2:No, how about we talk about, have we? Oh, my God. Oh, of course we have, because we're talking about second chances. How would we know the answer to this if?
Speaker 1:we had it, and I have done this several times this year.
Speaker 2:Oh God, just this year.
Speaker 1:Not with an ex, like not with an ex. Yeah, okay, I don't have a lot of exes and I don't think I'm putting that on the table, but I have done it with people that I have dated.
Speaker 2:Do you? Okay, so talk to me about that, do you just like? How does that?
Speaker 1:I just think that, if you, I think, if it didn't work out the first time, my well, let's just take data. It doesn't work, it hasn't worked out. There is no experience in my life where it has worked out the second time with somebody that I dated before period. So it was either me or was them and there's a reason why I mean you can call it. There's always an excuse in time.
Speaker 1:I mean timing and blah blah but at the end of the day, like I would be more inclined to say that you'd have a better chance getting back together with an ex than you would with like somebody you dated, because there's a little bit of a foundation there, but then again, again like that's not. I don't think that's going to work out either. There's a fucking reason why you broke up. So like, let's not. My sort of gut, quick, without giving a lot of thought, just taking the data, is that we only should go back to the well under very, like, very certain circumstances. And let's think this through right. Let's multiple therapy sessions, talk to your family, to your trusted people, be very open with that person and really figure out whether it's just. And then look at your situation. Because why are you going back to that right? Like, why are you going back to the well? Is it because? Is it because?
Speaker 1:of your insecure, your self-esteem, where you're at your life, like? Are you feeling like dating sucks blah, blah, like, because I just I generally think it's not going to work out well, so what?
Speaker 2:but talk to me about statistically no, okay, so that's the, that's the advice part but I don't think that's the advice part.
Speaker 2:But I don't think I mean, we all know. I feel like we all know that's the answer. Why don't we talk about, why don't we talk about why we go back, why do we go back and how does that door open? So, like you said, you've done this a few times. So how did? Did you reach out? Did you text them? Did you run into them? Did you see them on the apps? Again, like, give me the, give me, like, think of your examples, tell me I'll share mine, cause I've I've done it.
Speaker 1:I've done it this year too. It's easy to just like shoot your shot again. It's like what's up? Yeah, probably.
Speaker 2:Okay about have you ever gone out with someone and then they like hit you up again, but you didn't remember that you went out and they had to like okay.
Speaker 1:So I'm at, I'm at a baseball game with my buddies and then I run in some other buddies and they're with this girl and I'm this is years ago, by the way, so it's not really cock-a-bocking myself. This is before I even got married. Yeah, it was before I got married. This is in my early 30s and I'm at the baseball game and there's this girl there and my buddies and I'm catching up and I'm like oh, she's pretty cute. So I start hitting on her and I'm like what's your name? Blah, blah, blah, this that she looks like annoyed. I'm'm like why is she so annoyed? I'm being really nice and I'm just like I'm not being like super aggressive.
Speaker 1:And she goes are you fucking serious right now? And I'm like what she's like? We went out, we didn't just go out, like we like messed around and apparently like and apparently like had a good time, and I think I ghosted her.
Speaker 2:I wasn't the best.
Speaker 1:I wasn't the best. I mean, we're all guilty of being you know whatever, and I was young and she was not happy about that.
Speaker 2:Well, clearly you were attracted to her.
Speaker 1:So I didn't get the second chance that time oh darn Well, that was probably good for her. I thought she should have taken it a little bit more. I mean, if you've been online as much dating as I've done, I have the memory that I have. I can't remember all the time.
Speaker 2:Okay, but at this point did you meet her online?
Speaker 1:I met her online.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And we'd gone out.
Speaker 2:Okay, we spent some time together and then you ran into her in person. This was my.
Speaker 1:Tinder days. Those were the you were even more frequent than oh geez. Oh you were even more frequent than oh geez, oh man, it's the ice machine. So that was a fun story. It was very embarrassing my buddy aaron that's amazing, my buddy aaron, he's like he's just like he's crying. He's laughing so hard. He's like you're fucking. Only you would end up in this situation.
Speaker 2:I love it.
Speaker 1:I've definitely hit on girls on the apps before, where I forget that we had connected somehow, maybe not gone on a date, and then if you've been on the apps long enough, like over the years, you start seeing these people in public too and you're like. I know that person from somewhere. I'm sure it's on the apps.
Speaker 2:Yep, it's funny, I don't run into a ton of people around Denver that I know that person from somewhere. I'm sure it's from the apps. Yep, it's funny, I don't run into a ton of people around Denver that I know, even though I've lived here for 10 years. But I've recently started running into people I've been on dates with. I'm like oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I guess it just means that like we had common interests or whatever, like I ran into one guy at a comedy show, another one at a concert, so whatever.
Speaker 1:I think if you went on one date and then you reconnect, that's a little different than if you dated.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. And also if you were in a long-term relationship and then split up and second time, I don't know. I don't think so. You talked about an example of where you ran it, but you said you went out with some people like you gave people a second chance the last girl.
Speaker 1:So this was what, a couple months ago, when we were out with katie and I got the text from that one girl yes um and I liked her um.
Speaker 2:I was really attracted to her um and I can be well, we all know if there are 10, but well, uh, that she was a cat she was.
Speaker 1:She was a catch for sure. She was fun, she's cute, we were enjoying each other's company. She was a second chance and, uh, so I initiated that.
Speaker 1:I texted her because she, you know, I got the car accident and I and then I got covid I mean I know, but you gotta tell, you gotta tell our listeners so her and I were dating, we were hitting it off, and then I was traveling and trying to like this is you know, months before trying I was traveling and like it was hard and then I was like to get the other dates on and then what happened is I was going down and I was gonna go meet her for lunch because I was trying to weave her in between some trips and I got in a car accident, trying to get off the interstate like a little fender bender, but enough that I couldn't go to the day because I had to deal with the insurance and stuff and the other person, and so I had to bail on that date and then I tried to reschedule and she was good about that.
Speaker 1:And then I got COVID and then from there I was she's like you know, I've been dating this other person and I think I'm going to pursue that and I think she was to her own right, was probably annoyed that. I was like you know, you don't know cause, you didn't know me well enough to know whether I was like making up excuses or whatever. So, anyway, that didn't work out. And then several months later I was like I don't know, she kind of popped up on my Facebook page. You know how they like recommend things. I was like, oh yeah, that girl. So I texted her. I was like, hey, you know, just like, just shoot my shot here again. Like, if you're not with that guy or whatever, I really did enjoy our company, like our dates and stuff, and I'd love to see you again.
Speaker 1:And a few weeks went by and I didn't hear anything. And then all of a sudden she texted me and she's like, yeah, that actually ended, we should go out again. So we started dating again and I thought it was going really well, I thought. And then all of a sudden I got a text and it was like you know, I'm really attracted to you. By the way, you're such a good guy, you know the classic stuff, but I don't think we're a match.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was so like out of because we had just been on what I thought was a really good date the day before and I'm not an idiot Dating enough to know what is good, so I don't know Anyway. But then again. And then then there was the other girl like two months before that. That was the girl we reconnected on the apps where we started dating again. And then that didn't work out either, because I had the same fucking story why we didn't keep dating before. So these are two incidences in the last couple months, but this is this has happened to me over and over on the apps where I'll go back. I usually go back to the girls because I'm bored and they were attractive, and why not?
Speaker 2:Because it's something to do.
Speaker 1:Well, there's something right Like there's maybe a question mark or something Trying to be a better date in these days though you are, you've been giving people.
Speaker 2:I feel like you've gone on the dates. You have gone on.
Speaker 1:I feel like you've gone on multiple. Yeah, I'm not dating just to date anymore.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's great, I like that.
Speaker 1:Although the one girl that I'm dating right now asked me why I got so many numbers at the Two Birds Fit thing, I was like I don't know. It just seemed like an activity. Isn't that what you do with those dates? I never called them all, but I don't know. I just felt like I should run around and talk to everybody all the numbers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, that is the point.
Speaker 1:It didn't even dawn on me. That wasn't like the goal it is the goal.
Speaker 2:It was the goal, it is the goal. At a speed dating event, you had to talk to all the people. Yeah, my strategy was stand in the corner.
Speaker 1:I know well, women have that luxury that was not it I. I didn't go to try to get a number.
Speaker 2:I was like I'm good, just I wanted to support them and I was like happy to be there with friends and I didn't care if I got a number, and I ended up getting two or they got or two got.
Speaker 1:Two people got my number in the corner, yeah so okay. So if I, if let's recap, so your answer on the dating aspect of giving people a second chance is likely a no yeah, I think unless you're bored I think if you did a survey, I think you would realize that it's overwhelmingly statistically not going to work out okay now, if you don't have any other options, then maybe that's what you gotta do, but like there's a lot of people to date in the world, yeah, I think it.
Speaker 2:I for me, I think it would depend on what the reason was going back to an ex is like that.
Speaker 1:I don't know it's not a good idea no, because you guys like, you guys got a lot of data points. Yeah, you got a lot of data points and people don't change that much. Yeah, no, they don't.
Speaker 2:I mean I think it always, even like, regardless of how many times you went out, it probably depends on why it ended or didn't continue, and if that thing has changed, and then I don't know like, then it's still a crapshoot. So good luck.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're very opinionated on this show, but it's also like I don't.
Speaker 2:I feel like sometimes things do change. I think the other thing I wrote down, which is a good topic, is like do you believe in the whole?
Speaker 1:like the timing was just wrong yeah, like right person, wrong time yeah, I do, I think so okay, but that just counters everything I just said, doesn't know it doesn't, because that might not be the reason.
Speaker 2:Things didn't like progress with that person, but I think that's a situation where you didn't date.
Speaker 1:Like I think it's a situation where you recognize that there was, that it was a good person and maybe you became friends or maybe you like, maybe you didn't do anything and then maybe you call them up like hey, like I'm out of this relationship now. I've had some time to work on myself. I remember seeing you at this thing and blah blah and like I thought you were cute and but you know, like something like that.
Speaker 1:But like I guess my situations are more isolated to online dating, which I don't do anymore because I've come to realize I've weaned myself off the addiction, the fucking endless cycle of fucking nonsense. I think I think there can be genuine moments with people. And I do again. It's a data point, like what I'm talking about is, you know I'm this is how my mind's, very analytical is like I think, statistically, if you did it a hundred times, let's just like the majority of the times it's not going to work out yeah because it didn't work out the first time and most of the times it's not.
Speaker 1:I'm I'm also a believer that, timing or not like if, if you really like somebody, you'll make it you'll try to fight against the timing If it's something where you're.
Speaker 1:I met a really wonderful girl which was the first girl I dated after my separation. It wasn't divorce, it was the first girl I went on a date with after when I was only separated, and, uh, still to this day. She the timing certainly wasn't right, she doesn't live here anymore, but she's still to this day was one of the like like more well, well rounded such a terrible way to describe a wonderful woman, but like, kind of all the things right, someone that impressed you.
Speaker 2:Terrible way to describe a wonderful woman but like kind of all the things right, someone that impressed you she was like an amazing attractive woman and she met me and I was and she was we're friends.
Speaker 1:We're like friends on instagram and talk to her every once in a while. We're never gonna date, we don't live in the same place, but like that's a situation where the timing was absolutely wrong. So I think if you met somebody and they had just separated they're going through a divorce and they're and they're open about that that I think you could revisit that at some point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it just depends on what the what the reasoning is Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so there are situations, it's just statistically. Okay, All right Now what did you ever answer this?
Speaker 2:No, Did you ever answer this? No, I didn't. Did you fucking answer it? You didn't ask.
Speaker 1:I know I'm terrible, aren't I?
Speaker 2:No, you're fine, I am guilty of revisiting. It usually does not like yeah, I'm like nah, it's not usually a great idea, I don't think. I think it just depends on the reason. So there was, let's see, I was dating somebody like last year and then that ended and I met this guy and the. We went out on one date and he drank so much, he was so drunk. It was like I had two glasses of wine, he had five whiskeys, like, and at one point I was like okay, it's time to go.
Speaker 2:Like I don't know if he was nervous, I just was like this is too much and I was not in like a great place. I was like, well, if this goes really well, I'm probably good to go. But it was just like too much onto the next or whatever, not the one, so awkward that six months later I was at another. So this guy lives in the neighborhood and we met at one of the places in the neighborhood. So like six months later, earlier this year, I was at another, like local establishment, and this random guy comes up to me and says, hey, were you at a date at this one place? I was at another, like local establishment. And this random guy comes up to me and says, hey, were you at a date at this one place? And I was like no. And he's like yeah, I swear it was you. And I'm like I don't know what you're talking about. And he's like it was like six months ago. It was really awkward and I'm like what it was that date? I've never met this guy.
Speaker 1:He recognized me from being on that date and he was apparently watching us. Did you go out with?
Speaker 2:him then. No, oh, I ended up though reconnecting with that guy and I was like, maybe the drunk guy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was like maybe he actually didn't. I think he was nervous. That was kind of what I put together. And then he ghosted me. That's usually what happened. I was like, okay, maybe he was just like trying to prove, I don't know, whatever, it doesn't matter. So that was one instance. And then there was another one who I dated for a couple months and then time became an issue like single dad issue stuff, and then so I was like, all right, let's you know, just find me when you have more time. Then and we kept trying to make that work and it just kept getting worse.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Which was kind of sad in the end because it just felt like I think he was into it. He tried to say otherwise. I don't know, I just there's a lot. There's a lot on single parents, like plates with having to do the single parent thing In addition to like if your career is demanding. But I think in that specific situation he was making plans with other people to do stuff, but he just wasn't making plans with me. So I was like I don't think this is the right, you know.
Speaker 1:Dating is a lot of. It's a lot of things. I don't want to say it's a lot of work. It's not a lot of work but it's. You got to pick yourself up by the bootstraps to go meet a stranger and it's hard to motivate yourself to go meet a stranger. It's like it's for and everybody has a different motivating factor. Some of it can be, you know, somebody wants to just have some intimacy. Some people want to find a partner. Some people you know are just bored. Some people you know just want to have some fun, like I, I think everybody.
Speaker 1:This is the misconception I think that people have about dating and people's intentions. I think everybody wants to meet their partner. Very rarely do you meet somebody. That's like I wouldn't if I met my partner right now and I turned down because, like I love being single, like I think everybody wants to meet their person. The journey to meeting a person particularly in middle age, since this is midlife's uncensored is not so straightforward, unless you're one of those people that just is so accustomed to being in relationships that you're just very adaptable to other people's personalities of personalities and behaviors, if one of those people that can just chameleon your way into like somebody else's life without much friction.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, who wants that?
Speaker 1:There are people like that and I think they're gifted. They just like they're blessed in some ways, because they can just like I don't know about that. It all blows up in the end. No, it all blows up in the end. No, I was.
Speaker 2:Could you imagine being a single parent, having a demanding career and also trying to date Like it's kind of that's?
Speaker 1:a lot. No, and this is why, like if I was ever, Would you? I don't want to get divorced. Oh my God.
Speaker 2:Right yeah, oh my gosh, I want to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if I was to have kids. I do not want to get divorced, I just. I want it to work through thick or thin and just you're my person. We're doing all the shit together because I'm not going back out there with kids.
Speaker 2:Like fuck that shit, all right. So on the dating topic, probably not a great idea. Might be worth pursuing if it's the right reason or if something has changed, give it a whirl. Or if you're bored, all right, cool. Oh my gosh, you know you're over the hill when you have to get up in the middle of the night to pee.
Speaker 1:Just once.
Speaker 2:Yeah, usually just once I can make it like five hours.
Speaker 1:I have to go pee every time I wake up at night Shut up.
Speaker 2:Wait, how often do you wake up?
Speaker 1:Oh, two to three times a night.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:There's long periods where I'm just up. Now my new sleeping pattern is to go to bed at 9.30, sleep pretty solidly until about 12.31, wake up from 1 until 3, I'm just going to lay there awake and then sleep until 3 to 6.
Speaker 2:Oh no, that's awful.
Speaker 1:And every time I wake up I just go pee because I got to go pee. I mean I pee, it's long pee. My body must retain water until I sleep. I don't know what it is that's funny.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I sleep a solid like five hours and then if I can get two more, that's great. So if I time it just perfectly, see, like if I fall asleep at nine, I'm screwed, I'm up, I do the same thing, I'm like up in the middle of the night and then I fall back asleep right before I'm supposed to be up. It's a whole mess. But if I time it right which what I end up doing now is, I use this to my advantage. I've, if I drink a bunch of water right before I go to bed, I am always up right about the five hour mark. It's a perfect alarm clock.
Speaker 1:You're doing better than me.
Speaker 2:And then. So if I have to be up to like, go to the gym or whatever, I just time it perfectly for that.
Speaker 1:Speaking of peeing. I gotta pee.
Speaker 2:I know, okay, so do we have another one though? And do you know you're over the hill? When do you remember? When?
Speaker 1:do you remember when, uh our cars used to have map lights in them?
Speaker 2:what the heck are those? You never had a map light in your car.
Speaker 1:What's a map light? It was like a little switch with a. You pushed it and then a light came on and you could read the map while you're driving I don't know if I knew that's what it was that's what it was. Well, I always.
Speaker 2:I also well in high school I used it to pack bowls but, I mean we have driving, we have like the little dome, light things right, all right, don't they still have?
Speaker 1:those, my buick century, was pretty pimp.
Speaker 2:It had a map light oh, buick century, I can do you one better yeah, what's that I?
Speaker 1:had a chrysler new yorker once that died, I had a oldsmobile bro oher. Once that died, I had an Oldsmobile Bro.
Speaker 2:Oh boy.
Speaker 1:It's basically the same car.
Speaker 2:I went from that to what did I? Oh Dodge Neon. No, I didn't have a choice in that one.
Speaker 1:My buddy had a Lincoln.
Speaker 2:I would have rather kept. I loved the New Yorker. That thing was like a plush. It was like a velvet couch in the back seat yeah, that thing was amazing.
Speaker 1:They were all like shitty american cars.
Speaker 2:Those fucking ceilings fell down yeah, except the back seat was like the most comfortable couch yeah, we drove my uh, my adopted dad. Let us take the hot rod Lincoln down to Florida one year. That thing was like a pale pink. With, like the, it would have like a little shimmer to it, my buddy had an old Lincoln town car. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And it was the old sort of boxy one with like the and it had all the like custom. It had all the bells and whistles. A boxy one with like the and it had all the like custom. It had all the bells and whistles. So it had, like it had, a electric.
Speaker 2:Remember electric windows back then were like oh yeah, that was fancy, this didn't just have electric.
Speaker 1:Like electric windows. It had an electric, you remember, like the like side window, like the little window in the front. Oh my god that one went down by itself for cigarette smoking.
Speaker 2:Yes, so you had a little window that would open so you could just flick your fucking asses out the window. I didn't even know that work that existed yeah, that thing was so pimp.
Speaker 1:But fucking hein, john hein, he was so funny, all right oh my gosh, that was great I'm trying to.
Speaker 2:yeah, I think that's good Mic drop.
Speaker 1:All right, everybody, remember to follow us on Instagram at midlife, uncensored, and I guess if you want to follow us on Facebook and we want to hear from you, slip into our DMS. Let us know what's going on, share your stories and please subscribe and rate us. It goes a long ways. It means a lot.
