Midlife Uncensored
Midlife Uncensored-Real Life Discussions from Over the Hillis the no-holds-barred podcast you didn’t know you needed. Hosted by Joel Poppert, aka Poppy—the friendly Sasquatch with an epic beard—and his fiery co-host, Emanuela Messineo, aka E, this show unapologetically dives into the chaos, comedy, and WTF moments of midlife. If you’re 35-55 and ready to embrace the rollercoaster of aging, this podcast is your new home base.
Poppy and E tackle everything from modern dating disasters in the hilarious sub-series The Love Laugh Lounge (the “festivus” of dating) to real-life shit like divorce, mental breakdowns, balding, sagging tits, and figuring out how to parent while still figuring yourself out and maybe dealing with an unhinged ex. With a blend of interview episodes and no-expert-needed banter (except when we bring on experts), these two cut through the BS and get real about midlife—no filters, no sugarcoating, just pure, unfiltered truth with a heavy dose of humor. Expect raw, relatable stories, unfiltered guidance, tough love, easy happiness, and a few episodes where the comedy comes from alcohol infused banter, because who give a fuck, right?
Whether you’re dealing with the joys of aging, trying to keep your sanity while raising kids, or attempting to find love in a sea of idiots, Midlife Uncensored has your back. Expect a few F-bombs, some belly laughs, and a whole lot of honesty as Poppy and E rip the band-aid off midlife and give you permission to thrive in this beautifully messy chapter. It's not just about surviving midlife—it's about unfucking it and owning it! This is your community; we are in it together!
Midlife Uncensored
Sharts, Sass, and Single Dads: Tales from Love Laugh Lounge
Join your favorite friendly Sasquatch, Joel, and his lively co-host Emanuela in this hilarious and unfiltered episode of the "Love Laugh Lounge." In true Festivus fashion, they dive headfirst into the dumpster fire that is modern dating, sharing their own grievances, war stories, and more.
In this episode, Joel and Emanuela dissect her recent plunge back into the dating scene, with all the awkward, cringy, and downright weird moments that come with it. From the perils of online dating profiles to the bizarre tale of a date gone wrong at the Cheesecake Factory, no topic is off-limits.
Tune in for some laugh-out-loud moments as they share their personal experiences and candid thoughts on dating, relationships, and why some single parents just don't have the time for anything more than a friends-with-benefits situation. Plus, Joel's epic story involving a drill rig, a first date, and a very unfortunate bathroom break is one for the ages.
If you're looking for raw, real, and ridiculously funny takes on the highs and lows of dating, this episode is a must-listen. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram, share your thoughts, and rate us wherever you get your podcasts. Let the Love Laugh Lounge be your guide through the twisted world of dating!
How to Engage with Us
- Email us at joel@owningalonepodcast.com
- DM us on Instagram midlifeuncensored
- Follow Joel on IG jpoppert
- Follow Emanuela on IG emanuela5683 or accountability_with_e
Thanks for joining the Owning Alone community, I certainly appreciate you!
I remember that intro to uh, all right, oh, that's super loud. All right, why all right? Why is it so loud?
Speaker 1:I feel like you just not edit it and just post all this shit like just the one time. Can you just? Penis pen one five pen.
Speaker 2:One, five pen is all right, all right all right, I'm sorry so it's your friendly favorite. It's your friendly favorite, it's your friendly, it's your favorite friendly Sasquatch with the epic beard game. And this is the Love Laugh Lounge, the Festivus of Dating, where we air our grievances on the interwebs. Our dating grievances share, our war stories, come together, kumbaya in the fucked up world of modern dating. I am uh. It's been a while since we've done a love laugh lounge. I'm doing it with my lovely co-host, emmanuela hello also known as e, and we're gonna get fucking silly.
Speaker 2:We're going to we're gonna dissect her. She got E and we're going to get fucking silly, we're going to dissect her. She got back online. We're going to dissect her profile. We're going to talk about some, a story that the West World West Word published a dating war story. We're going to talk about that. And then we're going to talk about my dilemma, my dating dilemma recently. So with that we're gonna welcome to the lounge.
Speaker 1:Y'all, let's go yeah so manuela okay, am I on the hot seat already like this fast? Yeah, we're ready to go well I gotta keep talking, right because it's a fucking podcast. I know, let's talk about why, like what?
Speaker 2:what prompted you to get back into the dating scene, besides wanting some hot dogs?
Speaker 1:oh, speaking of, I have a hot dog thread. Oh god, can I talk to you about this? Of course also I worked the hot dog stand. Did I tell you this?
Speaker 2:at Home Depot. Well, we talked about this. Of course, also, I worked the hot dog stand. Did I tell you this? Well, we talked about this in the last episodes. But how was it? How was slinging hot dogs Amazing Did people show you their hot dogs.
Speaker 1:They didn't yet, but apparently all the employees from Home Depot were in the break room chatting up about the new hot dog lady, so I've been asked to come back on the regular.
Speaker 2:The Italian hot dog unicorn.
Speaker 1:And then I was just in Breck this weekend and I have my place. That makes all the. There's a spot there that I really like that makes homemade sausages.
Speaker 2:I got a homemade sausage.
Speaker 1:So I made my friends go there and we we got literally all the sausages. Here's a picture which I'll have to post, but it's a terrible picture of me, but that's a lot of fucking sausage.
Speaker 2:And then they put pickles on the side so they have little pickles seven different flavors.
Speaker 1:Oh, there was one that was like a rattlesnake and rabbit there's no jalapeno and then well, that one's kind of black.
Speaker 2:There's one that's a little darker. It's the wrong size. Yeah, no, you should definitely put that on only loan um, also, should this be on my dating profile?
Speaker 1:probably not. I'll get like and uh yeah, I mean sure.
Speaker 2:Why not send the right?
Speaker 1:So we have a, my friends and I have a hot dog thread. It's literally just for hot dogs, no like a text thread. And it all stemmed because my friends were, I think, at some vineyards in Ohio. I wasn't there, anyways, they were drinking.
Speaker 2:There's vineyards in Ohio, yeah.
Speaker 1:There's vineyards everywhere.
Speaker 2:Are they good? That's the question. Is that where they make? What's that alcohol we used to drink when we were kids?
Speaker 1:Boone's Farm or something I don't know. Was that a wine, mad Dog Boone Farm? I don't know.
Speaker 2:Boone Farm. I feel like Ohio is where they make the fucking.
Speaker 1:Listen, there is some good wine in Colorado, but is it the best? No, but it's actually pretty because it's up on the lake. So anyways, I'm pretty sure this is the story. They, wherever they were staying, there was a gas station across the street and they went over there to get hot dogs late night, because that's what the gas station had. And, uh, they got their little foil, wrapped hot dogs and got their ketchup and mustard and went back to the room and then, when they opened the foil, they realized they only got the buns.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, that's the worst so there was formed, that was like I don't know did they 15 years ago. Fuck yeah, they did with ketchup and mustard.
Speaker 2:Oh, my, my drunk go-to when I was younger I used to live by a 7-eleven was the fucking taquitos oh my god, and they would always give me the shits, but I always I'd wake up every morning.
Speaker 1:I'd wake up every morning with a hangover.
Speaker 2:I'm like, why do I feel like such ass? Oh, that's right, I ate four taquitos last night.
Speaker 1:Well, maybe that has something that might be a little bit of an explanation of what happened in the date horror story that we're going to talk about later. So maybe, yeah, yeah, so welcome back to dating.
Speaker 2:I'm still online. I just don't really take any of it seriously, and I should. We're gonna get into that, but like, how's it going so far?
Speaker 1:Well, I never actually answered your question, so I why I'm back on the apps or whatever. I took a little time off because my schedule was getting a little hectic and I felt like I didn't really have time or the energy for it. Plus, I was seeing somebody for a little while and I needed to just like digest that ending and put that behind me. And then he resurfaced and then now he's like that door is closed.
Speaker 2:Bye, bye. So rule number one resurfacing never works.
Speaker 1:I get it, but it was you. Have that too, hey, I know.
Speaker 2:So For what I go to do I'm sorry, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So the thing that sucks is like I have been like dating a lot. I've been exclusively dating single dads and because you know I can explain that, but there's always like a lot of really good excuses that you can't really poke holes in, and so you, it's just hard. Yeah, I don't know it's. I don't know if dating single dad is the way for me to go. You can't like really question anything that involves their kids, I feel like. So there's just a lot of room to be taking advantage of too no, and I don't know.
Speaker 1:I've never dated single dads before no, but if their schedule changes, I can tell you exactly what they're looking for yeah, well, okay, tell me.
Speaker 2:If I was a single dad and I was working full time and taking care of kids, I think I'd be looking for friends of benefits.
Speaker 1:I think that is very much true.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's not. My assessment of the situation is they really can't handle much more than those two priorities.
Speaker 2:Do you think they prefer to date women without kids?
Speaker 1:No, I think they probably prefer to date women with kids, but the schedules never align Well, if they have this. So it seems like a lot of single parents here have a similar schedule. I don't know if, like the courts or whatever seem to like a certain like template of it. So if those schedules line up, I think it's very easy because I think essentially then you have people whose priorities are their kids, their career and like when you can fit in some dating or whatever, great, and so if that aligns, I think that's easier for them to be on the same page with someone who's also a single parent, but also then comes like more complications because they both have kids. So for me, yeah, I don't know, I have a lot of theories around all this. Why do you want to?
Speaker 2:date single men or not single men?
Speaker 1:Why do you?
Speaker 2:want to date single men. Well, men, um yeah. Why do you want to date single men? Well, why not married men? Nope, no, thank you. Why do you want to date men?
Speaker 1:with children. Yeah, so I always wanted to have kids, but I think, if I look back at my decisions and then I like recently I had this sort of aha moment of it was never really about having kids for me. Yes, that that was something I really wanted, but I've always just wanted a family, and so the reason I never moved forward with the people I was dating is because I knew that it wasn't going to last long term with those guys and that I'd be a single mom eventually, and it, for me, the end game wasn't oh, I just will do anything to be a mom. And I think a lot of people get married because they want to have kids, but for me it was I want to get married and have kids so I can have a family, and now I've decided years ago I wouldn't, I wasn't going to have kids of my own. So I just I love kids, I have love to give, and I feel like there's a lot of kids out there that could use that. So why not do that?
Speaker 1:And I don't know like I am, though, just given the last like few experiences of dating guys with kids, I don't know if it's really going to work for me, because I don't think it's a priority to them. I think the priority to them is to be a great dad, and that's fantastic, but I don't think a family is always like the priority to them and that's the priority to me, if that makes sense. Like being a single. Being a great dad is different than having a great family.
Speaker 1:It shifts in my mind. Being a great dad means just being there for your kids and making them the priority, like being there for your kids and making them the priority, whereas if you want to have a family unit, it makes the family, and like your partner, also a priority. And I just, I don't know. I think I struggle with it because I have a lot to give and I'm not okay with just getting some like whatever's left over.
Speaker 2:Our conversations, the conversations we've had about your dating experiences with with children. It's different because I feel like the women with children and again, I'm not a huge fan of dating women of children for different reasons but I feel like they manage it way differently, all because I've dated a lot of women of children. It's just, this is what happens at our age, but and yes, yes, they'll talk about their children, but they seem to be much more able to like to give you their time.
Speaker 2:That's how I never I've never had a problem with women with children not not being able to give me their attention, their time to balance the conversation they have around raising their children and their family versus their. It's almost most of the women that I've dated with children. They're like, yes, I don't want to talk about my children right now.
Speaker 2:I'm like let's go have a good time they want to talk about themselves and their and their stuff and it makes sense to me because I understand what it's like to be like a man. If was a man with children, I think yeah, I just I would be overwhelmed by the being a single dad and blah blah and I don't know. It's an interesting space. I don't think either one of us in our age group can really get away from like. I mean, part of my problem with dating these days has been like I don't really want to date women with children because I just decided I don't. That doesn't make a lot of sense for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's okay.
Speaker 2:And one of it's because I don't necessarily know that I want to stay here. So anybody that with children, particularly if there's a father involved, that I date here and if I fall in love with them I'm stuck here.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I don't want that. I don't want that right now. But I'm also realizing like we're going to my dating situation right now. I'm also realizing that all my rules are like really making me like just not date, because I'm like there's just like nothing.
Speaker 1:Nothing's permeating. There's not a lot of people that fit into my box right now.
Speaker 2:And the ones that are that do. They're just as liberated and free as as I am. So it's an interesting spot, like I've told my buddy. The other day I was like if I wanted to really date women with children and I wanted to like and I wanted a partner and do all that. I hate that, it's a terrible thing to say, but it's like fucking shooting fish in a barrel.
Speaker 1:It's you'd be able to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's really it opens up a whole. It opens up a whole. It opens up like 80% of the dating pool for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I feel it's a struggle for me because I think the I don't know. I'm not like giving up on single dads, but I am definitely, whereas, like that was exclusively what I was looking for the last year or so, and now I'm open to people that don't have kids. I just was finding that there wasn't, I don't know I could get. I don't want to put any generalizations out there, but again, my priority, or like my goal in the end of this is I want to build a family, like it's something that I do already with my friends, and it's not going to look the way that I thought it would 10 or 15 or 20 years ago. That's not going to include kids of my own. It might not include kids at all other than my nieces and nephews that are either biological or not and all that. But I just, for me, the priority is like I want a family unit and so I'm looking for someone to build and grow with the rest of my life and I plan to live till at least a hundred.
Speaker 1:I got lots of time left and lots of shit to do, but I definitely I've always been someone that I feel like just I feel like I love mentoring people, I love seeing people succeed and I have a lot of, I think, just like good things to offer people in general, but especially kids that I don't know.
Speaker 2:I just feel like kids, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:Even if kids are in a home with both of their parents, like anyone who wants to get. If I had kids and somebody wanted to love my kids like I'd be like fuck yeah come on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a very rational thing for somebody to want. I'd be like fuck yeah.
Speaker 1:So I just think it's hard, because this is my theory and this is, I think, in general single dads most of them are divorced and they're single dads now and I think it's really not that it's not hard for women to, but I think for a man it's like really difficult to digest failure of a marriage and if you have kids, I think a lot of them are like doubling down on. I can't fail at being a dad and you cannot come. Not that I'm trying to come between them, I'm trying to add to the situation. But we can't build a relationship if you don't make time for me and if you, if you have your kids 50% of the time and you can't prioritize dating the other half of the time, then we're not looking for the same thing and that's okay. But I'm just learning to weed some of that out, because people say they want something but they're not willing to actually put the time in and I think when push comes to shove, they're scared of failure again.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm going to call out the single dads out there right now and you can get mad at me, but I think if I'm putting myself in their shoes, I think what you're dealing with right now is probably it's a timing issue, right? They're probably, just like me, fairly freshly divorced within five years, let's just say five within five years, right. So they probably particularly with kids, to get divorced, there's usually a. Let's just say five within five years, right? So they probably particularly with kids to get divorced, there's usually a. There's usually a buildup and there's trauma and there's whatever led to that, and then there's.
Speaker 2:so then, as a man, I think, when you get divorced, you have these times where you don't have your kids and you're like commitment's tough.
Speaker 1:It's like you're already committing to your kids.
Speaker 2:You're trying to savor the relationship with your ex, to raise your children and then, at the same time, there's a part of you that wants to be in love with somebody. Because I'm going through this without kids, right, I'm like, I'm struggling with what does commitment look like to me? And I keep talking about how I don't want to be in a relationship and I don't want to like I don like to me and I keep talking about how I don't want to be in a relationship and I don't want to like. I don't want to blow all this stuff.
Speaker 2:The reality is, if the right woman came along and swept me off my feet not like a fairy tale but if the right woman came along, of course I'm not a fucking idiot I'll lean into it. I'm not getting any younger and blah, blah. The reason that I'm trying to avoid dating women of children is because I know that probably I love moms. There I think there's a there's an attribute of mothers in a toughness or something that's very attractive to a man. It's just a sort of a natural thing, because I know I can be swooned by a fucking like a single mother and I know that.
Speaker 2:So I'm trying to me. Not dating women with children is me trying to like, protect myself from going down a road that I don't necessarily know that I don't want to go down, but at the same time, it's made dating really difficult, because the reality is, what's happening with me right now is that women our age that don't have children are just as free as me, right?
Speaker 1:Or you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and with that freedom becomes like fuck commitment, fuck relationships, like why do all that stuff Like it's? And then let me take that back. The bars is set higher right when there's not the pressure of raising children or having children. The bars is set higher. It's not about fuck you, because I think the reality is I wake up alone every morning and, yeah, sure, it'd be nice to share my life, and the more days that go by from me, from being in a relationship, the more that like I yearn for that right but, like very interesting old, like younger joel versus older joel.
Speaker 2:Like younger joel wanted to do all the things like get married and have kids and blah blah. Joel now that's not having kids and has been married and been in several serious relationships now is like where do you go from here? The bars are set so much higher and that's why it makes dating so much more difficult. Because it's like where do you go from here? The bar is just set so much higher and that's why it makes dating so much more difficult Because it's like what do you want?
Speaker 2:And I don't know. And that goes into what I? Because I want to bring this up, because I set this date with a girl that has a child, has children I think she has children, I don't know she doesn't write on her profile and she's super attractive, she and she's super attractive, she's successful, all the things we've been chatting, and I set a date up with her on saturday and now I don't want to go. I don't want to go because one I'm like booked all the way for the next two weeks and like saturday would be a really nice day to have freedom myself and I didn't really think about that when I did it. And it's 99% chance. This isn't. There's this 99.999% chance this is just going to be.
Speaker 2:This isn't going to work out, nothing's going to happen. And it's just me. It's just me. I don't like to say wasting my time, because I love, I enjoy meeting new people, but that's where I'm at right now in my head. With this day, if I go forward with it, the only justification I have is that I'm going to meet a new person and have a conversation with them, which is a reason to go on a date. But is that fair to her? And I just don't want to go now. I hope she doesn't listen to the podcast. I can't imagine she did. Well, this won't be out before Saturday before. Oh yeah, that's right, but I don't have to make a call. That's where I'm at my dating situation.
Speaker 2:I haven't been on a fucking date in like a date in well over a month and a half maybe two to two months I really haven't been dating, which is, and I went from dating two or three girls a week to just I'm over it, I'm over it and I don't know what to do about it. Because there's I'm in this boat now where I would love to have like a something, like a something, something, but I don't know what that is well, that's okay to not know what that is, I think. I'm gonna stop myself there if I get in trouble. Yeah, it's okay.
Speaker 1:I think there are definitely times where we don't know what we want or we're just not super excited about what's in front of us. And that was what prompted me to take a break from the apps was like I just wasn't excited about I wasn't excited about it. So I was like I need to just take a break and do my thing and come back when I'm excited about it. And it's pretty cool because I feel like I've gotten pretty clear about who I am, what I bring to the table and what I want. But then there's also a very small amount of people that fit in that and so I'm trying to just enjoy the process. But it also with having that, it's like very clear who fits or who doesn't, and that's okay. But I have been trying to digest this Should I be dating single dads? Is this for me or not? Is it just that I haven't met the right one? Or is it just going to be too challenging to get through? I don't know.
Speaker 2:Do you find that most of the Maybe they just weren't that interested either. Like that could be very well like what Online dating has gone to shit? I don't know, it's not. There are still people on there, but it's gotten really. I mean, look, I'm going gonna bail on this girl. I just date. I just, and I was supposed to you know what though?
Speaker 2:tomorrow? And she, just she, never even we had set a time and blah blah. And then and this whole ghosting or just disappearing on these apps, like none of it. You can't really take any of it seriously and it's gotten really. It's gotten really bad. To be honest with you, the only reason I'm on hinge anymore is probably because it's like fucking being on instagram yeah, it is, don't get me wrong like there's people to be had on there and dating and blah blah.
Speaker 1:But it's like such a shit show. Yeah, I've met some good people on dating apps, but you have to go through a lot of not great and that's okay too, like maybe that's what makes you appreciate the good ones.
Speaker 2:Do you find that most of the men, on most of the men, are single dads on our age?
Speaker 1:No, it's actually probably a mix, um, it's probably about 50, 50, I would say Um. So I was definitely weeding out a lot when I was like exclusively like I want single dads and whatever. I'm definitely just more open now to I think what I am attracted to with single dads is that they have a purpose, like being a great dad or whatever. Right. I think a man without a purpose or like something that like is meaningful to them is. I just need a man that has that.
Speaker 2:I do have a purpose, I promise.
Speaker 1:You do? What do you mean? I was not implying that you don't. No, I really don't have a purpose. Yes, you do a purpose, I promise you do. What do you mean? What do you? I was not implying that you don't.
Speaker 2:No, I really don't have a purpose. Yes, you do, shut up. I want to travel, I want to buy.
Speaker 1:Well, if you don't, then you need one.
Speaker 2:I do, it's a catamaranian, that's my purpose.
Speaker 1:Well, it's okay, so there's actually my children, yeah you need I think everybody, even when this is not just men billy ray, and if we have that, I think otherwise you're trying to find other things to fulfill that, and that can be difficult, like you have to. That's isn't that what this whole podcast is about is like knowing yourself, being true to yourself and having your own.
Speaker 2:I thought it was just being your own well, that too it's all good.
Speaker 1:I thought it was I thought hear my own voice.
Speaker 2:Well, that too, it's all good. I thought I was going to have a bunch of chicks Also.
Speaker 1:I really think we should not edit this one, because the intro on this was amazing.
Speaker 2:No, we're going to move on from single dads, because single dads are very boring to me. Oh, shut up.
Speaker 1:It's fine. So we definitely went down a rabbit hole. So I am back on the apps. Apps. I am open to dads and non-dads I gotta go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2:Do I edit this out too, or do I?
Speaker 1:well, we can pause the bathroom.
Speaker 2:No, I think we should just keep going, and while I go to the bathroom, you should just talk to the audience.
Speaker 1:Weird, because what if they can hear you what is happening? I'm pretty sure. Oh, it definitely is still recording. Okay, so here we are, by ourselves and, uh, it's really, it's a lot of fun. I was told that you guys don't want us to edit out the bloopers, so I think we should, uh, keep going. And now I'm just trying to kill time, so I am back on the dating apps and I'm pulling up my profile. I'm going to have Joel read this stuff and tell me what he thinks.
Speaker 2:Okay, Before we look at your profile and I need you to tell me what's the best way that I can like ditch this date on the hinge.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, Thank you for circling back to this Number one. What's?
Speaker 2:the template for ditching them before you even went on a date with them.
Speaker 1:Number one is do it ahead of time. Don't wait till the last minute. Don't be a dick.
Speaker 2:No, I know that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I would just be honest. I think that gets is much more appreciated. I would just say you have a lot on your plate and you overcommitted and Understand that she might not want to see you in the future, but right now is not a good time. Yeah, fair enough, just be honest and just don't do it last minute no, I won't.
Speaker 2:I'll do it tomorrow, tonight, so should we craft it? Together just do what everybody else does just delete her, delete her.
Speaker 1:No, that's not cool, I'm just kidding, but that's what happens, just be honest, I think the worst part is which happened to me a couple weeks ago was the last minute shit.
Speaker 2:The worst part about it is I've already changed the date once already because I set the date up. We were going to go to Jazz in the Park on Sunday and then I realized that we have the Packer game.
Speaker 2:We have the Packer game. And then I was like, oh, I'm really sorry, blah, blah, blah, and now I have to reschedule for Saturday. And then I rescheduled for Saturday, and then I woke up this morning I'm like fuck, I am busy all the way until the 26th and I'm like I don't want to give my time to a stranger. That's probably not going to go anywhere, because it's just not. It probably not going to go anywhere, Because it's just not.
Speaker 2:It's not going to go anywhere. She's got kids. I just I need to not do this, and the problem is I just don't, I just don't, yeah, it's just not.
Speaker 1:I think the it's happened to me where I think there's and I don't know why it's such an issue with the kids thing.
Speaker 2:I don't know why I do it.
Speaker 1:It just is. It's okay for that to be an issue for you. I think you should just know that and stop dating single moms then. Okay. So if you listen to all of our episodes that we play the they're a 10 but game we all know if they're hot, you basically will concede to all the other things.
Speaker 2:So stop it. I welcome single mothers that just want to have like non-monogamous relationships. Okay, fine, that's great, but I'm not gonna be.
Speaker 1:I'm not gonna be their partner do you want to know what's fucking attractive is a man that knows what he wants, even if it's not what aligns with what she wants, or even if it's not I think you want to live in that world because I think you're gonna find that all men want is this fucking pussy okay, well, I already assume that yeah so it's all good we do hanging out and having conversations and doing all that stuff, but I don't know the whole relationship thing.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm probably gonna have to edit that out or I'm why? Yeah, you don't need to edit it all right, like just be real. I am who gives, I'm always real, I know you are, but don't edit this shit here I've probably that no other man ever wants to say I know.
Speaker 1:But I've already.
Speaker 2:I'm like saying I told you, I feel like, because I haven't quite figured out if I'm like just full of shit, or if I'm like actually representing the fact that all that's what men want.
Speaker 1:Okay, don't get me wrong, you're representing what you want.
Speaker 2:I am a hundred percent emotionally available. I can have. I have had amazing relationships with women since my divorce. During all these things I just not quite sure the whole committed, the commitment. The word commitment to me, like the idea of settling down with somebody right now, is just not in my hair that is totally okay, and we don't all have to be cookie cutter in the same place until it makes sense so okay, but like I think the thing is like we, the best thing we can do is just know that and be honest about it.
Speaker 1:There's nothing wrong with where you are and I welcome women.
Speaker 2:I welcome women that have the same mentality, and it's not a friction.
Speaker 1:I don't think it's a friction at all.
Speaker 2:I actually think it's. I just want to live. I want to live my life the way that I want to live it. And if somebody comes into my life that like is doing is living their life too, and we run in parallel together and it makes sense and we just keep running for the rest of our lives, fucking great. But I'm done with because I've done this in every relationship and I think everybody does this and this is what society tells us to is to fucking conform to another human being and all of these sacrifices that are made and what happens is your sack. Both parties are sacrificing so fucking much and that's where you're not nobody's comfortable anymore. And the nagging starts and the fucking resentment and all those things. I don't want. The nagging, the resentment, the fucking blah, blah, blah. I want to be like no one does love you.
Speaker 2:Let's fucking run together. This is fun. Yes, we have. We can share responsibilities and intimacy and all the things and vulnerability. I just don't want the confirmation like the conform of it's just. It's never worked for me and until I meet that person where you shouldn't have to sacrifice, I just don't think you should have to like that's the wrong way to put it. You should sacrifice for the people you love, but to what extent? When you're like I just I don't know, maybe it's just a reflection that I haven't had the most healthy relationships in my life.
Speaker 1:I think it's okay. I think we're all in different places and we all have, like different perspectives on these things, which is only going to reaffirm the fact that we aren't all a match for each other, right? You, I think, a lot of times, like just based on something you said earlier, you feel like you have to represent, like men in general and there's no cookie cutter answer, like what I represent from a woman's perspective, like I have friends that feel very differently about things that I talk about, just like you're going to, not everyone is the same, and like we can make some generalities, but like, at the end of the day, I'm just here to figure out, like who I am and to make sure I know who that is and what I'm looking for, so that I don't waste people's time and, most importantly, I don't waste my own time.
Speaker 2:I don't know, sounds like a song Country song. All right, let me see your profile. We're getting way too serious for a love laugh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but honestly I really appreciate this because now you know a little bit more about what I'm, what my intention is with my profile, so you can give me some good feedback. Also, I just updated photos, so you're funny okay, we got a water bottle, that's.
Speaker 2:It's a nice picture I don't know if I would have that one on your. The first one though. Oh, jen just texted you, hi, jen my greatest strength being on the low end of the crazy scale and my ability to offer unconditional love and support.
Speaker 1:You don't like that.
Speaker 2:Do I get to be like critical?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can be critical. I might not like it, but I'll take it. Are you going to tell me I'm on the high end of the crazy scale? No, you're definitely not on. Just that.
Speaker 2:you don't like that comment, I will attest to all the men that listen to this she's not on the high end of the crazy scale at all. You are. This is honest. But I also feel like if some girl told me they're on the low end of the crazy scale, I would just assume they're on the high end of the oh great, okay, so that's where I'm going with that, my ability to offer unconditional love and support.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you, you can do better. I want to get long-term relationship. Who's the golden gold and flashes? I want to get to know you. Let's laugh, talk, eat, drink and do things together. You should put a hot dog after that one.
Speaker 1:Okay, done, that's an easy ad I have.
Speaker 2:I'm like very, I have conflicting thoughts about writing anything after this, so I don't anymore. I don't put uh, anything after mine short term open to long term which is yeah and I don't put anything after it anymore because I think but this isn't, this is good. Well, because I have a longterm Okay.
Speaker 1:So I think because people obviously aren't looking at my profile like you are so my dating intention, or whatever that field is, says longterm relationship, and I think for me it's not genuinely is what I'm looking for. For me it's that genuinely is what I'm looking for. But I also am not trying to rush things, so nor am I trying to be in a never-ending situationship with someone, so I think it's the cliche one.
Speaker 2:It's that you should, that everybody should use, is casually looking for my person I know, but I feel like everyone uses that, so mine's long-winded.
Speaker 1:Like usual, I put so many words the this picture.
Speaker 2:I know you have this picture's. Okay, I wouldn't use it, as your profile picture is the first picture. This picture is good okay so you got to make sure the balance of um yeah, like.
Speaker 1:So with pictures, I'll just do some description, I do golf one is pointless um why?
Speaker 2:because I can't golf right now because I'm injured this is what happens, so think about it from the perspective of people. This goes for both people, for male and female. We're really trying to figure out what you look like, right?
Speaker 1:oh yeah, this is this is.
Speaker 2:This is good, because you're wearing a skirt, blah, blah. If you can get a closer up one, maybe that's better, but you can't see your face. You can see your body, which is good, but that was.
Speaker 1:I was trying to do a cross between up front or close up with sunglasses, without activity, something you enjoy, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I'll help you with pictures when we're offline here, okay, that sounds good. This is a good picture of you with your friend. The next one I'd get rid of, because you don't need two pictures of your friends, one with friends tops. One with friends okay, and the rest should just be you.
Speaker 1:But I do feel like you need a full body picture. You need to have one without sunglasses yeah something more casual, something more multiple with full body pictures and then, of course, because I have so many men in my life, most of my pictures are with men and I feel like I can't post those.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you don't want to do that.
Speaker 1:Can't, unless they're gay well they are, but guys don't know that yeah, guys know, oh yeah, we know. Geez, yeah, you can tell well, I'll show you some other pictures, so I feel like we should do a before and after I'll. I'll do some before and after screenshots.
Speaker 2:Uh, the only thing you should know about me I'm the hostess with the most is podcast co-host, nutrition coach. Love spending time with people watching football, blah blah. That's great, that's great is it too wordy?
Speaker 1:no, like too many, I try to keep it like I don't know, not too lengthy and then a little light-hearted, but yet I don't know I would the were the same type of weird.
Speaker 2:You can do better than that, something more authentic and vulnerable. I go with something more bold. Whatever the reality is, this is a difference between females and males. All they're looking at is the pictures. They're looking at the pictures and they're looking at the age whether you have children or not, whether you drink blah blah.
Speaker 1:I weirdly actually I get a lot of responses to the prompt of the corner the okay. So the one that you think that I the that you said I could do better. It was like we're the same type of weird if dot and then it's, and I said, if you prefer a bar seat over a table and corner bar is better, something like that, or corner of the bar is even better, something along those lines. I get a ton of responses to that. And the other one is like the low end of the crazy scale.
Speaker 2:You get responses to that one.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't know that. There are people that I like.
Speaker 1:Necessarily, I should go back and look at the ones that I actually match with. Here's the other thing. Okay, so thank you, I will take your feedback. We'll post some before. I'll do some screenshots. I don't know how to. I'll get some screenshots of before and after or something on the instagram page, but I also you're not making people play where's waldo, which is good yeah, I don't do that and I try, try to.
Speaker 1:Actually, any friend that I'm in a picture with, I try to make sure they're not another brunette, because I feel like, although I have one on there with another brunette I mean you'd be surprised how hard it is to people don't realize this, how hard it is to decipher who's who in pictures Because we know what we look like, right.
Speaker 2:So we just like oh, blah, blah, blah, but like you, don't, you don't. I don't know how many times where I've looked at and this happens all the time where it's just like a profile full of pictures with the girl and her friends and you're like I have no idea. There's times where, like all the women are attractive and you're just like whatever, I'll just do it, I'll swipe right, deal with it later, because that's how men operate, but not so much on hinge, because you only get eight free likes a day. I don't pay for it, but but it is. It blows my mind. And then you have women that, first of all, like people aren't going to want to hear this, but if, if you don't have a full body shot, you're fat. I'm sorry, you just are.
Speaker 1:Well, that was another thing.
Speaker 2:So yeah, this whole little trick where women like take the picture from up above and look down on their body. Nobody's fooling yourself there either, be real man, because maybe somebody will fall for it, but then they're going to show up and they'll be like you don't look, oh, jesus. And yeah, the sunglasses, the climbing on rocks great, you like climbing on rocks, but like you look like an ant on a fucking whatever. You can't tell what people look like. Like people want to know what you fucking look like.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, whether you like it or not, particularly with men, it starts with attraction. We start with attraction. We don't start with your personality. Yeah, we're either attracted to you or not, and if, if we're attracted to you, we're going to give you our attention, and then from there, certainly the personality matters, but we start with attraction. And any man that says that they don't, they're fucking operating on a different spectrum than all the rest of the men. Because that's where we're at. We're wired that way that if we're attracted to you, we're going to give you our attention and we're going to get to know you, and then it matters. But if we can't figure out what you look like, on the apps, most particularly, good men are just going to swipe left. It's not worth their fucking time. And that's how I am and I consider myself a high caliber, quality man. I'm not like a fucking 10, but I am not going to waste my time trying to figure out which one of the five you are in the six pictures and then write something in your thing.
Speaker 1:So also, why don't you think you're a 10?
Speaker 2:That's too much pressure to be a 10.
Speaker 1:OK, all right, sorry, what was your question?
Speaker 2:Because I don't have hair.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Something like a nine and a half. Ok, yeah.
Speaker 1:All right, sounds good. I'm a fucking 10, no, something like a nine and a half.
Speaker 2:okay, yeah alright, sounds good. I'm a fucking ten. Um, I'm uh. Yeah, I don't even know what I am okay, you tell me well these girls can tell me write in, let me know what you want.
Speaker 1:I think I don't know. A ten is pretty up there.
Speaker 2:I don't know well, you're up there. What does a ten look like? You're up there, I don't know. Well, you're up there. What is it? You're up there, you got height. What does it look like? Yeah, I don't know to me, it's too much. To me it's too much all around I don't know, I don't want it.
Speaker 1:I don't want that.
Speaker 2:Too high maintenance, too high maintenance no, I do get a lot of attention on the apps because of my height I don't. I'm assuming it's because of my height, but I don't want kids and stuff. Like if I wrote on my thing that I wanted kids giddy up, I'm sure it would be like way different, because it's, I think that there's a lot of women between 30 and 40 that want to have kids, that are looking for men my age that, you know, or it's just like yeah, but it's really cool.
Speaker 1:Like I was talking to this guy a little while ago and we matched just. I didn't read his whole profile, whatever, but like we matched, just like attractive, and we were chatting back and forth and I was like, hey, like your profile says you want kids, like a deal breaker for you, are you? Cause I'm not having kids and I'm not even at a point where I want to adopt kids, like I just if the guy comes with kids, great. If he doesn't, I got plenty of friends, kids and nieces and nephews. I'm good with that. But anyways, we went back and forth and then he was basically like, yeah, I really do want kids, but blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, don't back down, it's way more attractive that you like know what you want. And then he's well, can we keep in touch in case I change my mind later and I'm like, dude, you just killed it. Just know what you want. That's a very attractive quality too.
Speaker 2:No, I get it.
Speaker 1:And if you don't just own that too, that's okay, because there are times that we don't know what we want and we're just figuring it out, which is totally okay. I think it's more of just being honest, I, but for me a big I don't know if it's like a pet peeve, we'll just call it a pet peeve is don't fucking waste my time, don't waste my time.
Speaker 2:But you remember, I'm just in my head, I'm going, I'm feeling I know what he's doing. I'm because I do it too like. I Like I'll swipe right on a girl that wants to have children because she's fucking attractive. I'm a silly man that way and it's not fair to her. And most women are smart enough to call me out on that. But whatever Worth a shot.
Speaker 2:But remember the days when we didn't know this and we just met people that we didn't know and we started dating them and it took four or five dates and we probably have been having sex by then, and like we were. How many girls do you have? I've had sex with and dated and blah blah, and then you get to the meat of it. You're like six, seven, eight weeks, three months, fucking year into it You're like oh, by the way, I forgot to ask you when we first met.
Speaker 2:Do You're like oh, by the way, I forgot to ask you when we first met Do you want to have kids? No, and this is the world we live in now. We're like. This is why nobody's dating anymore is because we're not like. The reality is, I think what happened back in the day before the apps is we just fucking fell in love with people.
Speaker 2:All the chemicals and the infatuation and all the things that happen to human beings when they're attracted to each other and then we're just like, yeah, I'll have kids with you because I don't want to lose you, right? So like we're working backwards from the connection and that's why nobody's fucking connecting anymore is because we're not giving it a shot. I don't know no, it's not a bad thing because I do not want to have kids in my fucking like I you're 34 next week. I do not need a fucking baby join the club, buddy.
Speaker 2:I do not need a fucking baby now and then people would tell you like what if I did? What if I did have a baby right now? And then, 10 years from now, I'm sitting here like remember, listening to my podcast about how much I didn't want to have a kid in my and I'm like I couldn't imagine my life without that kid. So like life also.
Speaker 2:I have awareness around the fact that life happens and I do believe that. I'm not a big faith person, but I do believe that things happen and they happen for a reason and I'm also a believer that a lot of things happen for not any reason whatsoever. But, like you know, it's sort of this we're choosing our own destiny now and the apps. We probably do need to find a better balance, because I remember being on the apps when they first came out and I loved them. They were great and they but they were so much more laid back. It was so much less people weren't so traumatized by it's a game.
Speaker 1:I think we're all, I think it's, I think we're all getting a little exhausted from it and so it's like showing itself and it's making it hard. But actually, on that note, I have a couple things I want to say.
Speaker 2:So, first of all, nope what you're not allowed to say anything.
Speaker 1:I'm not allowed to. No. So first of all, you were saying you're gonna be 44 soon, so happy early birthday. But I won't tell anyone. And you're gonna be 44. But guess what? My dad was 44 when he married my mom and he was 55 when I was born Holy fuck. And my favorite uncle, who's like a dad to me, he had his only child at 55 too Weird.
Speaker 2:I mean his wife was my age, so all you're doing is making me, encouraging me to get a vasectomy. Yeah, well, also you better On the next episode.
Speaker 1:Also, you better follow up on the protocol with that, because apparently there's a lot of oopsies after a vasectomy. If you don't, there's a lot of. I don't know. Just saying a friend informed me that's not foolproof, so don't, and also don't mess with. Don't mess with it. There's other ways.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just smoke beaners every night. Okay, cool, oh my.
Speaker 1:God, I fucking love this. I love this episode right now. Where do you get beaners? I actually like to not. Where do you get beaners? I actually like to not Remember the back of the day.
Speaker 2:I used to sell weed in high school. We used to break up this brick weed and it was just so many beaners. It was like Mexican fucking.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, it would literally come in bricks, yeah, and we'd spend like all night long fucking and then it was the type of weed where you smoked it and you're like I instantly have to go to bed after smoking. Yeah, we smoked it all day. Okay, so you can have babies, uh. Well, you obviously already know this. You can have, uh, and yeah, anything, whatever comes your way, it's gonna be great and all these states now where abortions aren't illegal. It's fucking dangerous out there for men. It's dangerous. What are you republicans thinking?
Speaker 2:it's fucking dangerous out there for men, shut up. It's dangerous. What are you republicans thinking?
Speaker 1:it's ridiculous this should be pro-abortion no pro-choice, not pro-abortion I said what I said.
Speaker 2:I mean what I mean. I think there's way too many people on the planet. You get pregnant, you want a baby. That's why we have COVID. Don't overthink it, we'll just kill off the yeah, whatever.
Speaker 1:We're going to go down a really bad rabbit hole with this yeah, I'm going to put some money in coat hangers.
Speaker 2:Oh, shut your mouth, that's not even funny Stock's going up.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God, my god, okay, I'm gonna move us on the other thing. We are not editing this one other than the little like pee break. So the other thing is I let our listeners know from or our followers on instagram, which isn't a lot of you, um yeah, step up yeah come follow us on instagram, you guys, and also we have to go back to facebook.
Speaker 2:You guys are all too, oh my gosh, no stop it.
Speaker 1:Um, we fucking, by the way, we love you guys and I so appreciate, like, all the feedback that we get from you guys. It would mean a lot to us if you can rate us on wherever you're listening to us and follow us on instagram, watch our stories am I a 10 or? Not. Yeah, am I a 10 or not? So I'm definitely not, but we what I mean what are you doing? I'm good with that.
Speaker 2:We're both 10s we should be the podcast called the 10.
Speaker 1:I'm a fucking rock star. I'm adding a point.
Speaker 2:I was a ten until I started the podcast. Now I'm 11. Don't get me wrong, there is no question Minus half a point because I don't have hair.
Speaker 1:I don't think that's a bad thing, though I don't care. I don't think you should dock yourself for that, but I think to be a 10 all women need to mic me. I don't want to be. Oh, I think they do. No also. No, a 10 doesn't mean everybody likes you, I don't know. Well, maybe we should, I don't know, but I don't want to be a 10, but, I, fucking also know that I'm fucking amazing and I would make anybody's life better than is in my life. Cheers, cheers to that.
Speaker 2:I think we've done. I think we've done. We should probably end with a game, but I don't think we're going to go into the Westward.
Speaker 1:We can do a game, oh yeah, or that, because that is what we promised.
Speaker 2:We're at an hour. We just hit an hour.
Speaker 1:I know, but you know what?
Speaker 2:It's fucking fun yeah somebody went on a date and they have dates chat in the front yard Sounds about right.
Speaker 1:Maybe you should go on the date Saturday and poop in her yard.
Speaker 2:I'm not pooping in some chick's yard.
Speaker 1:Hang on. I'm sorry, hang on Back up real quick, because we're talking about how dating's a dumpster fire in denver, especially online dating. So we are going to the two birds fit mixer or whatever in. Uh fuck, I don't know what the date is september 5th.
Speaker 2:Okay, I posted it At Terminal Bar.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I posted it on our stories. I will post it again. But if you guys are in Denver, if you're single and you want to go, it's what 25 bucks to go, and then I think you have to pay for your own drinks, but it's at Union Station. Terminal Bar is in Union Station. So if you want to see us or you want to meet some other single people in denver in real life, come do it, and it's also so two birds fit it's the one event they have where you don't have to exercise with other people, which is why we're going I know, but see, the thing is we're both fit people and we like to exercise.
Speaker 1:I just don't want to do it when I'm I don't like exercising with other people yeah, exactly so well, I do, but I don't. I don't want to do it when I'm I don't like exercising with other people. Yeah, exactly, well, I do, but I don't want to do it on a date I like doing it in the morning and that's it I get yeah. What else do you like to do in the morning?
Speaker 2:Drink coffee. Talk to my dog. What are you looking at me for? I don't masturbate in the morning. I don't masturbate until 11 o'clock in the morning. At least I wait, Sorry you guys Sorry. This is fun. I don't know why, it's just a good old episode. Should we? No, I don't like. So. We see this on the profiles all the time too. Women are like I want somebody to exercise, my partner to exercise. I'm like, absolutely not. I'm not exercising with you, that's my thing. That's my thing.
Speaker 2:No, that can be an alone time, I know, but there's a lot of, I think, a lot of people, a lot of women that want their man to go to the gym with them and I'm like, no, first of all, I don't like going to the gym ever. I've never been a gym person in college, I was because I was right there. But no, I have my own gym in my basement. Basement I like going for a walk together.
Speaker 1:Would you go for a walk with someone? Yeah, absolutely yeah, so you can do your own also, because until we're like together for a couple years, and then I don't want to. You're such a dick, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, yeah, I'm gonna be single the rest of my fucking life I like doing my own thing because then you can just figure out what you need to do for your workout, and I do think it's important to have a fitness nutrition like a healthy mindset and like routine for yourself. But I don't necessarily need it to be the same as my partners, nor do I need to meet them while doing it.
Speaker 2:I think so. Yes, exercise, going back to it. We're going to yeah, we're going to a dating event. It's going to be fucking amazing, and he and Mr Fisher's coming back into town in two weeks.
Speaker 1:We should get him on the horn again. I know I was going to ask you, should we? Schedule some sessions that when are we gonna fit it in sunday, friday?
Speaker 2:I don't know if it's in maybe we should put scott graves too. We should get both scotts one that's married one that's single dad. Hell yeah, and we're just like pow wow and and scott from dallas.
Speaker 1:Scott is his son's 18 now. Oh yeah, he fucking made it. Scott's like single now, single, single, single. He's not even a single dad anymore.
Speaker 2:I mean he is a dad, but like when your kid goes off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but he's like empty nester. Then it just becomes financial Empty nester.
Speaker 2:I would totally date women that's kids are like going to college. I do like older women going to college. I do like older women. I like them all. My body's falling apart, damn it. So yeah, I think with that are they a 10?
Speaker 1:Are we going to do the review of the?
Speaker 2:We can.
Speaker 1:The love, love is always long.
Speaker 2:I don't know why. I guess it's more fun.
Speaker 1:You know what? Who cares? If people want to fast forward, they can fast forward yeah, you're gonna give the summary.
Speaker 2:Oh, for fuck's sake, you want me to give summer?
Speaker 1:can we tag team it?
Speaker 2:bad date story in the westward. So the westward, which is a terrible publication, by the way, I'm not going to give them. What do you call it? I'm refilling our wine by the way Plug City yeah.
Speaker 2:So Westward is Denver's sort of I don't know downtown Julie Brown publication. If you're old enough to understand who Julie Brown is, I just aged myself really bad. So anyway, they've been writing like the dating stories and I think they started with one where you know how denver is a dating junk show and blah, blah, blah. And then they called out people to write in about their worst dating stories and I think they're going to do one every month now and they just published the first one the other day and it was a woman who. It was actually very well written, it was fucking funny and basically the long story short is this girl?
Speaker 2:Um, she went on one date. It went pretty well. They were doing a bunch of text exchanges. It was going well, blah, blah, blah and, mind you, this is only her story. We never heard the guy's story, but there was some validation on the text and stuff. This guy turned out to be some form of self-involved I'm not going to use the word narcissist because I hate that word An alcoholic and insecure and ego-driven and all the things.
Speaker 1:Her date, the second date with him Can I interject a little bit, is this?
Speaker 2:the 6'4 thing too, you might be mixing it up.
Speaker 1:They met on OkCupid 98% match. I met my, so they met on OkCupid 98% match, and so it was like what could go wrong there.
Speaker 2:I met my ex-wife on OkCupid.
Speaker 1:Well, so they go on a date. Whatever she says, it goes well. They both mentioned that they liked cheesecake, so they decide to go on a second date to the Cheesecake Factory.
Speaker 2:Which they age themselves to. Is that place still there? Who fucking takes their date to the Cheesecake Factory on 16th Street Mall? Is that place still there? Who fucking takes their date to the Cheesecake? Also, who?
Speaker 1:the fuck just goes there anyway. Who goes to the 16th Street Mall for a date? There's gotta be better cheesecake in Denver.
Speaker 2:They must be 80 years old.
Speaker 1:I don't know. No, I doubt it, it might just be, I don't know.
Speaker 2:It makes sense now if you know the ending, but I won't call it out.
Speaker 1:Well, I was thinking there were, but okay, I just felt like this was an older date because who, in their right mind, would take anybody to the Cheesecake Factory for a date? Well, they talked about cheesecake. You have to be old and so maybe I don't know, but if you talked to me, about cheesecake.
Speaker 2:I would just take you to somebody's place, Not the Cheesecake Factory.
Speaker 1:Nobody goes there about cheesecake. I would just take you and to somebody, please not the cheesecake factory, but their cheesecake is really fucking nobody goes to 16th street mall for a date there. I'm just saying that we don't know that, like, maybe one of them lived there, who knows.
Speaker 2:But they end up there. I'm just thinking it's right down the block well, okay, so.
Speaker 1:So this is why I'm like okay, so they go on the state they go there. The guy said that he doesn't eat a lot of meat but then orders like a double cheeseburger with bacon while they're there, also orders a bunch of drinks yeah, orders a bunch of drinks, has the fucking cheesecake, and then I don't blame them, wait a second, did you look up the dive bar that they fucking went to afterwards because we're going there? Yes, so after the cheesecake factory, I looked this shit up.
Speaker 1:Hang on, was it, it's called herbs hideaway it's oh, I've been to herbs hideaway and he orders two pbrs and two shots and and then she's like I don't really drink PBR. So he downs both of them and then takes both shots. So he's drunk.
Speaker 2:This could have been me in my 20s. It's totally fine.
Speaker 1:Right. So you're saying like they're old, but it could also be like any age spectrum.
Speaker 2:I think she's talking about a date in her 20s and she's our age now. It could be.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, she excuses herself to the bathroom, orders an Uber. So it couldn't have been when she was in her 20s, because those didn't exist in our 20s.
Speaker 2:This is true.
Speaker 1:Maybe she called a taxi.
Speaker 2:I got kicked out of a taxi.
Speaker 1:So she orders the Uber and then basically the guy gets in the Uber with her, which also is like a whole nother level of you got to have boundaries, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, come on, girls, like we got a fucking no, no, no, let's be safe and let's be okay. Saying get the fuck out of my car. So she sits in the front seat, says he's like passing out in the back seat. Then he gets out at her house and keeps asking to use the bathroom. So they're like sitting in the front yard or on the front stoop or whatever. And he keeps asking and she's no, nothing's going to happen, go home, basically. And he keeps asking to go to the bathroom and I think in her mind she's probably thinking he wants to get into her place so that they can hook up. But the reality is he actually had to go to the bathroom. Well, they went out for cheesecake and he got a double cheeseburger with bacon.
Speaker 2:And was drinking PBR and taking shots. So he shits in her fucking yard, he shits. But she didn't know it at the time. He texted her later. He texts her later and I forget how that went down. I can't. She had to go look, no, and then I can't. Yeah, you got to do it because you got a better memory than me. I don't. She had to go look, no, and then I can't. Yeah, you got to do it because you got a better memory than me. I don't. But she didn't know he shit in the yard that night. She just went inside and then he texted her.
Speaker 1:He was like, he admitted to sharting and then pooping.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he sharted. He admitted to sharting in a text later and then got all mad at her that she wouldn't date him again, or something.
Speaker 1:And there was like all the.
Speaker 2:We're going to post the story too, so you can read it, but and then this poor woman I mean, I hear these stories all the time Poor woman.
Speaker 1:She also put herself in the Uber.
Speaker 2:She should not have gotten in the Uber she's. She should not have gotten in the.
Speaker 1:Uber. None of this is like we can avoid things, though. Ladies. Come on, we can avoid shit. We know what's coming. Let's avoid this shit. Get in front of it. Do not let him in the Uber. Do not let him in the Uber.
Speaker 2:That is Put him in the Uber, change the destination to his home and get yourself another one. And, by the way, it's okay to just leave a date if it's getting that ridiculous.
Speaker 1:Well, she tried to. I will give her props for that, but I wish that I didn't like that she let him in the Uber. It made me really icky. I felt bad for her. I felt like she probably felt uncomfortable.
Speaker 2:I mean, I felt like she probably felt uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:I mean, I felt like she probably felt uncomfortable and I don't.
Speaker 2:I hate that and the Westward is known for taking liberties, so like, let's be honest here, there's missing information, but Well, no, I just mean like be empowered to be like get the fuck out of my Uber and we're not always on. But, I've never been so off that I shit in somebody's yard. Oh, my god but I've definitely been off on dates.
Speaker 1:But I've definitely been off on dates I feel like I have so many stories not about shitting in a yard, not necessarily from dates, but I don't have a lot of war stories around dates, just I have.
Speaker 2:I've had the one alcoholic one that I always talk about, but I don't have anybody shitting in my yard.
Speaker 1:Um, I don't have a lot. I yeah, I'm with you. I wish I need to go back, though, because I've been dating, for we've all well, no, we all haven't been dating forever, but I've had you get the little surprises here, like oh by the way, I have a child.
Speaker 2:Okay, that would have been good to know before, like three hours ago, or you know some other things.
Speaker 1:I feel like I had more stories from 15 years ago dating right. I feel like I've gotten smarter about it and to where, like I was saying, don't put yourself in bad situations, like we learned from that. I'm not judging that woman for letting the guy in the Uber. I think she was genuinely trying to like make sure that he was safe or whatever, and obviously she didn't let him into her place. But there's plenty of times that I've been like you're, like we're trying to be kind or nice in a dating situation. If you're uncomfortable, just who gives a fuck?
Speaker 1:If you're just get out, have some words like that you can or some phrases you can use and just be like I'm good or I'm out, I gotta go, or just get that. Just figure out some easy things you can say and just get out of the situation I don't know there's more to that story. I'm sure, and it's pretty funny like that, the guy, well, I feel bad. I mean, honestly, the guy was asking to use the bathroom several times, which I mean he legitimately did need to use the bathroom.
Speaker 2:Oh, I got a bathroom story.
Speaker 1:Oh God.
Speaker 2:You want me to end this podcast with one of my date stories.
Speaker 1:Oh boy, oh God, I cannot wait for this one.
Speaker 2:So this is back. So the last episode. This makes sense sense now because the last episode of the Only Loan we did the insecurities thing and I talked about how awful like the period of my life when the drilling thing right so I hit my bottom right. We talked about that and then I was coming back up and on my way up, Drilling thing being drilling business, Drilling business yeah.
Speaker 2:And I had the rock bottom and I was a mean and blah, blah, blah. So, like on my way up, it wasn't like I climbed a cliff, it was like, gradually on my way up and on my way up, I started dating again and I had this date with this very attractive blonde woman and I didn't. My car was somewhere else and I was driving one of our smaller drill rigs around, so I was just driving around town, so I'm just driving this drill rig with rocky mountain geo exploration on the side wait, was it like.
Speaker 1:So I picked what kind of car was like.
Speaker 2:This is fucking ludicrous right. So I picked this girl up. I want to know all the details I picked this girl up my drill rig and she gets in the drill rig and we go to the fucking bar or wherever we go.
Speaker 1:What the fuck is a drill rig? It's a drill rig on a truck. I don't fucking know what that is. It's like an.
Speaker 2:F-450. It's like a semi. It's somewhere between a semi truck. I was thinking a tiny back. It's like a fucking machine Got it Okay.
Speaker 1:It's like a fucking transformer.
Speaker 2:It's a machine-sized truck.
Speaker 1:Well, you think everybody knows what you know. We don't.
Speaker 2:No, it's a big fucking truck.
Speaker 1:It's not like a little Fiat.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I had to help her up into the thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had to help her up into the thing. Give her a little booty lift yeah, give her a little booty lift. A little boost yeah, okay, got it. So she gets in my dro-rig.
Speaker 2:I don't know if that turns her on or off. Probably nothing at all. And we go to the bar restaurant, we have dinner, blah, blah, blah. At the time my digestive system was all kinds of fucked up because of my diet and drinking and blah, blah, blah. Mind you, at the time I'm still fucking crazy, like I'm in the craziest moment, craziest period of my life.
Speaker 1:Was this a past tense thing? I'm completely unstable.
Speaker 2:I'm completely unhinged In some regards. Women probably found that somewhat attractive and also scary at the same time. You've probably met these men before, when you're in your 20s. You're like do I fuck them or do I run? And I'm that guy. Do I fuck them or do I run? Right, and I'm that guy. And so we have a nice dinner and blah, blah, blah. It's like I'm trying to do the whole date thing, right. So we have this thing. I can tell she's not into me, so that sucks. And we get back to her place and I'm like I got to use the bathroom and I'm this dude, right, like I'm not this dude where I'm making her feel uncomfortable. She's just not into me. So it's different. Right, I'm not scaring her, but I'm like look, I got to fucking use your bathroom Because whatever we ate at that restaurant is not jiving with me.
Speaker 1:She knows. I don't know what it was.
Speaker 2:So, anyway, I use her bathroom and she lives in one of those like wash park. You know what I'm talking about if you live in denver the wash park home with the bathroom in the middle it's a brick bungalow with the bedrooms on each side, right and then there's like a dining room and the kitchen's over there and so there's no way to hide from this and there's no fan in the all this stuff, right?
Speaker 2:so I'm like just let me use the bathroom and I because I have to, otherwise I'm gonna shit my pants so I use her bathroom and it's one of those. It's like a movie, it's like the comedy. It's come on and like 15 minutes later and I'm like I'm doing everything in my power, I'm in ass, but I'm trying not to be like, oh my god, and I walk out. I'm just like this is total fucking face of defeat and I'm like I didn't even say I'm sorry, because that wouldn't even done it justice. I'm like thank you for a nice night. And I walk out, I get my drill rick and I drive, drill rig and drive away okay, so I've never seen this girl again.
Speaker 1:She probably still well she's the one who wrote into west world no westward.
Speaker 2:Why do I?
Speaker 1:not know what the name of that westward, westward.
Speaker 2:No, she was a sweet girl. She wouldn't have done that because I was a gentleman the whole night.
Speaker 1:I didn't do that maybe you know what actually maybe I did, but do you think that, do you?
Speaker 2:think she would have missed the drill rig part of that. She'd have been like, I mean, she was just like giving you she's probably following you.
Speaker 1:She knows you have the podcast and now she's. I'm going to send this in. No, I'm kidding.
Speaker 2:I mean, this was 18 years ago. She probably has 15 year olds and she's an angry mom. I don't know.
Speaker 1:Well, she also didn't order an Uber that night. Joke's on you. I really fucking hope that you don't edit this one.
Speaker 2:She's probably in an open relationship. I hope that you don't. She's probably a hot wife now.
Speaker 1:I hope you don't edit this one.
Speaker 2:All these new terms I'm learning.
Speaker 1:This has been a really fun episode.
Speaker 2:Yeah, welcome to the Love Lab Lounge. Are we going?
Speaker 1:to. We need to do this more, so also, uh, this was a little break from our little series of insecurities, so I hope you enjoyed our little banter, something a little light-hearted yeah next episode we'll reconvene on the insecurities topic. Are we playing a game?
Speaker 2:No, we should probably stop.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We appreciate you guys. Yeah, appreciate you.
Speaker 1:Like us, follow us, rate us.
Speaker 2:Follow us at Owning Alone. Please rate us, subscribe, share with your friends. We're pretty cool.
Speaker 1:Bless you. You got the hiccups.
Speaker 2:You have to use the bathroom. I'm going to shit in your front yard.
Speaker 1:Michael's going to be really mad at you, To all the men it's okay to shit in your date's front yard. No, no, it's not okay.
Speaker 2:This is how we show our affection.
Speaker 1:It's tomorrow, wednesday. Tomorrow is trash day, so just poop in somebody's trash.
Speaker 2:Can you know how much women love dogs? And if you shit in their front yard, then they can pet you. It's like a dog Once you're done shitting, they'll pet you, I promise.
Speaker 1:Oh God.
Speaker 2:Mic drop Bye.
Speaker 1:Terrible.
